Forget Defenders, What We Need Is More Strikers!

More strange goings on at the lane this week as all those "in the know" seem convinced that we are about to splash £9m of cash to secure the services of the amusingly named Brazilian, Fred. The player's agent suggests that he is on his way to hammer out terms with Comolli so even if we don't get him, it certainly looks like we are trying to.

Now, I have to confess that whenever I have seen him play for Lyon in the Champions League I have always felt as though he looked like a very decent player, so this news is not altogether unwelcome. However, why on God's green earth we are buying yet another striker is nothing short of mind boggling.

If I pop my Sherlock Holmes hat on for a moment, I can come to three conclusions:

1. We have slyly agreed to sell one of our strikers
2. Fred will play on the left
3. We are going to pioneer a 2-3-5 system

Option 2 would be my hope, but truth be told I can't quite remember if he is left-footed. My hazy memory of the last time I saw him tells me he is a player in the trickster mould rather than the "fox-in-the-box" variety, so maybe he could play slightly wide in a 4-3-3.

However, the odds on favourite is option 1 - but who will make way? Not Keane of course and Berbatov is surely going nowhere this month, so that only leaves Defoe or Bent. Defoe would seem like the logical choice, but he says he wants to stay - and I hope he does. Bent has found his opportunities few and far between, but having spent £16m on him less than a year ago surely it would be hugely embarrassing for the board if we sold him now at a knock down price. Comolli would have some very difficult questions to answer.

Nope, I just can't make this one add up. The only sensible conclusion I can come to is that we have agreed a deal for Defoe. I doubt the board would risk being stuck with 5 strikers so I reckon something must be afoot. My bet would be Portsmouth as I doubt Defoe has forgiven Erricsson for leaving him out of the World Cup and I can't see the WAG wanting to move to Birmingham.

That said, I just realised that I left out option 4 - that the whole thing is a crock of shit. My gut instinct though is that this one has legs. Is Fred even that much better than Defoe? We'll have to wait and see.

In other news our beloved Sporting Director has his head so far up his arse dealing with the lack of goalscorers at the club that there's still no sign of a proper left-back or a covering centre-half, but on a more encouraging note it does seem as though Ramos has stormed into Comolli's office ranting about how shit Downing is and how he'd best not throw £10m of his hard earned transfer ktty at 'Boro for "that Geordie twat"*.

At least someone down there can spot a lemon.

* May not be an exact quote