Capello the Turd Polisher

Believe me, I could write 10,000 words on why England have been such a crock of shit over the last few weeks, but I'm guessing your attention span for that kind of chit-chat has diminished considerably over the last week, so I'll keep it brief.

My take on it is rather simple anyway: Look at the 'good' teams in this world cup. They zip it about with one or two touches, each player is on the ball for a second or two at most. They form tight little triangles and players without the ball are always looking to move into space before their teammate gets it, so that when he does he knows he has a one-touch option. This means they retain possession, it also means that the man on the ball doesn't get pressed so quickly because the defenders know he's not going to dilly-dally. This in turn means that attacking players have more time to pick out creative passes. 'Quick ball' is international football in a nutshell - simple.

England probably managed this for about 5 minutes of the 360 minutes they played. Their modus operandi is usually to pick it up deep, push it forward with their studs once, maybe twice until they get to the edge of the centre circle, before holding their arms out Jenas-like as if to say "What now?". That answer never comes, so they either force a pass to someone who really didn't want it, pop it backwards to some other clueless participant, or boot it long to Heskey or the short man up front. And we wonder why we were shit.

I personally don't see how you can blame Capello for this. He was going as mental as we were. OK, you have to ask yourself why he subbed Defoe for Heskey when we're 4-1 down when the Beanpole for Rooney would have been much more sensible, but the game was up by then anyway. You also have to ask why, after 10 years of having the debate, we are still playing Lampard and Gerrard together. I don't think Lampard has ever had a Man of the Match game for his country - Capello needs to be bold enough to drop him. He's too old for the Euro's now anyway.

Which brings me nicely onto Harry. Spurs fans take heart - there is no way on God's earth that Harry will be the England manager next week. Yes, the tax thing might put them off, but the main reason is that the FA would have to be absolutely barking mad to spank £10m on removing a man who's only crime was an inability to polish turds.

If the Italian was watching the same World Cup as me then he'll now know that Heskey is not, and never has been international class, Glen Johnson is at best adequate and is incapable of playing with a 'proper' winger in front of him, Lampard is a one trick pony (that trick being goal hanging for Chelsea), Upson and Green nearly got their team relegated for good reason, Terry is an odious egomaniac and, that if you want to keep possession and spread the play when it gets too tight, that Tommy Huddlestone would be a vastly superior solution in the centre circle than Barry. Lastly, that despite all around him losing the plot - Jermain Defoe was a beacon of self confidence and positive energy and for that reason alone was England's player of the tournament.

Moral of the story: Capello's 'big mistake' was to ignore his Spurs contingent. Let's hope he's learned his lesson!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Couldn't have put it any better myself, the excuses are at best shocking and at worst sad. Even sadder is the fact, that we will have to continue listening to the likes of Defoe saying ' how they are a great team' based on what ? and if he doesn't Alan the twat Shearer will. On a more tangible note At leastwe got cL !!!!

Anonymous said...

I say ABH for England (Anyone But Harry!)

Anonymous said...

Harry will be no improvement on Capello, as he is also star struck and will obviously continue to pick Lampard( Nephew), Terry, Gerrard, The Cole's and Rooney. Harry has not taken too many risks blooding youngsters at Spurs. He did at West Ham, only because he had no choice.

Anonymous said...

Well put but you are being kind to Capello . He made the bad decision to pick Barry and Heskey and Left Wallcot and Huddlestone and Dawson at Home . I will back my 58 years watching Football these three would have played a big part Keeping our hopes in Africa still beating if they had played against Germany. Barry was outplayed by Hudds when we played City twice Dawson steared Spurs in to champions league with Bassong for most of the Campain Upson and Green where in relegation trouble for most of the season and showed why . If yo where a German defender who would make you worried a fast elusive Lennon or a limited Milner who made two great crosses because he could not beat is man against Slovenia . if you where in defence would you worry about Heskey or 6ft7 crouch who had scored 18 goals if you where closer or Podolski would you want Dawson from a team in fourth or Upson in fourth from bottom . I now the Answer but five Million a year Capello it seems dident . This is very sad for us and the said players make no bones about that my fellow Spurs lets Hope he has learned is lesson and picks form not names in future.davspurs

Anonymous said...

Apparantly Steven Gerrard has shagged his wifes sister and she is pregnant and there is an injunction from the press that cost a lot of money for them to be gagged. Apparantly, John Terry had a massive ding dong with SG and wanted to know why he was still the captain due to JTgate ... The England squad were split into two and wer taking sides hence why they all looked like individuals ... Fabio will continue to be the england boss as once this scandal gets out properly and someone goes to the press, then they will report it ...Once the storry is out and there is mad rage and shock by most people, SG will move to another club abroad, Spain being preffered but Italy not out of the question and Capaello whilethis scandal is being discussed by everyone and every news channel and every programme infact, Fabio will be granted his stay of execution. Being a Spurs Fan while Harry remians fav for the post, it wont be given to him and also Fabio will rip apart most of this squad and then redesign the blueprint for future teams, Football and running a club is like building and maintaing a home. First you build foundations and then work your way upwards and thhenfind the most effiecient way to manage it, the same applies to football but unfortunatly the days of buy ready made homes are over, in fact football will suffer and quite a few of the big clubs will no longer be the big clubs, Football my friends is about to change radically over the next few years so be prepared. The time has come for Spurs to take there place at the grand table as the correct way fo doing things.

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