TOPSEY TURVEY TOTTENHAM

I don't want to talk about it, but seeing as all my frigging work mates do then we might as well get it out of the way.

Look, before we all go throw ourselves under the Victoria Line let's get one thing straight. If Pompey had played like that all season they would not be going down. They closed down quickly, hassled and harried our midfield and defended like their lives depended on it.

Also, if Peter Crouch played like that all season... oh, hang on, he HAS played like that all season! Crouchie laying on the floor with his head in his hands is becoming a familiar sight - and one we'd better get used to as we'll probably be seeing it throughout the summer too. Don't get me wrong, I like him (well, he's likable isn't he?) but I'd prefer not to see him on a football pitch until at least 65 minutes of the game have elapsed.

Lovable as the lanky rogue is, Pav and Gudjonssen are both better footballers. The key to unlocking Pompey was class and creativity, not the ol' "lump it to the big man" tactic. We shouldn't have been drawn into the fight, we should have moved the ball quicker instead. A prolonged period of one-touch passing to people in space was sorely missed in the second half. Knock it around, tire them out, be patient... that would have been my half time talk. We were too direct.

Other than that I can't really grumble about the team selection, so there'll be no 'Harry Out' chat here please. The "outstanding" pitch (to quote Ray Wilkins) played a part in their 1st goal, nothing wrong with our goal or Wilson's tackle either, so the footballing Gods were obviously not in a smily mood. Truth be told I had a feeling it wasn't going to be our day after an opening half an hour of total dominance that inexplicably remained unproductive. Got to stick it away while you're on top and all that, haven't you?

Our heroes had better buck their ideas up come Wednesday - they owe us big time. Will all be forgiven if we stuff the Wanderers? Not quite, but it will go a long, long way towards helping me forget. Follow that by beating Chelsea at home and avoiding defeat at Old Trafford and maybe we'll have something to get excited about again.

However unlikely that run sounds, the weekend has proved that when it comes to Tottenham Hotspur, anything is possible. Maybe the race for 4th will go to the last day. We'd be in the driving seat then for sure. After all, we're bound to beat Burnley aren't we...

CRYSTAL BALL TIME

Whilst its always nice to see the Wanderers lose, I can't help feeling that their recent drubbing at the hands of England's future nemesis, Lionel Messi, couldn't have come at a worse time for Spurs. Quite a motivation for them to deploy a backlash isn't it? Combine that with the fact that they now have a week off, and we have a big game on Sunday and it's looking like a big ask to deal the death blow to their Championship hopes next Wednesday night. Let's just hope we don't need extra time to see off Pompey!

In fact, I must confess that the run-in is generally not filling me with confidence. I'm usually the optimistic type but for us to secure 4th we'll need to put together the best run of results for years. Man City are capable of dropping points, but the best looking fixtures appear to be Liverpool's. How bloody annoying would that be?

Here's my predictions:

Liverpool: Fulham (H), Spammers (H), Burnley (A), Chelsea (H), Hull(A).

They are capable of getting 4 wins and a draw out of that. Worst case scenario, 3 wins a draw and a loss.

High: 13pts = 68
Low: 10pts = 65


Man City: Brum (H), Man U (H), Arsenal (A), Villa (A), Spurs (H), Spammers (A).

Tough to predict as City are pretty inconsistent. Can see Brum shutting up shop, guaranteed loss to United and a win against the Spammers, the others... hmm. Have to back us to do them really don't I - shaky though isn't it?

High: 8pts = 67
Low: 5pts = 64


Spurs: Arsenal (H), Chelsea (H), Man Utd (A), Bolton (H), City (A), Burnley (A).

Bolton and Burnley are essential, got to assume wins at home there. Have already committed to us beating City when it counts but that could easily be a draw. That leave the Big Three - 4 points sounds ambitious, but let's indulge ourselves...

High: 13pts = 71
Low: 6pts = 64

That high does seem a bit optimistic I suppose, but with +5 advantage over Liverpool on GD it looks as though we can afford 10 points and still do it. What this means in real terms is that we either cock it up in the next 3 games, get 1 point and then beat Bolton, City and Burnley, or we do Arsenal, Bolton and Burnley and get a draw at City.

I like the sound of option 2. I actually think I've talked myself round in the space of the last 10 minutes. I thought we had no bloody chance because Liverpool have it easy - I'm actually not feeling too bad about it now. Still think we could do with bit of luck elsewhere. Maybe Fulham can nick a point against the bin dippers. Maybe Villa at home will be too much for City?

Remember, you heard it here first - you can't doubt the scientific evidence laid out here before your very eyes!