Darren Bent - Your Club Needs YOU!

With the news that Russian hotshot Roman Pavlyuchenko is out for 3 weeks with an ankle injury, Tottenham find themselves in a bit of a pickle. The transfer policy of the last 12 months has now seen us go from an embarrassment of riches in the forward line to a loanee with virtually no Premiership experience... and Darren Bent.

We at Spurs Club are absolutely convinced that Benty is a good player (well, at least two of us are). Back in 2005 Charlton had just gone down and the one player on their books of any note was England International Darren Bent. The player himself reportedly turned down several other offers in favour of his dream move to the Super Spurs.

Benty had a very good pedigree when he arrived at Tottenham, we paid £16m when £16m was a lot of money, but let's not forget at the time he was hot property and was coming off the back of not one but 2 exceptional seasons in the Premiership. However, Martin Jol preferred Keane and Defoe, and then the virtually unchangeable partnership of Keane and he-who-must-not-be-named, and so Bent had to bide his time and wait for his chance.

To his credit he has done this without complaint and now, his chance is here. After an incredible preseason many of us Benty fans were crowing "I told you so" to anyone who would listen, but that optimism has obviously dried up quicker than the proverbial nun's chuff. Bent has suffered along with the rest of the team. He has missed a few chances but has also shown in glimpses that he could be worth 20 goals again as long as we don't give up on hm.

However, if there's ever a player that you feel needs to play week in, week out it's Darren Bent, and I'm not sure he's going to get that at Tottenham. With Pav being injured he'll start against Stoke and Bolton, and assuming the three week estimate is accurate and he makes a good stab of the other games he'll probably get an opportunity to lead the line against Arsenal - three games that could end the daily misery we all experience at the moment and potentially establish Bent as flavour of the month.

Many fans would love to see him sold, but that in my opinion is bonkers. He's still only 23, British, has plenty of Premiership experience and obviously there's a talented player in there somewhere. I guarantee that if sold he will be another of our ex-players that goes on to score with irritating regularity for whoever we sell to.

And if we sold him we'd have to go out and buy not one, not two but 3 quality strikers. I don't know about you but the way we are going at the moment I struggle to see how we are going to get one. Talk of Huntelaar, Villa and Arshavin is pie in the sky while we are languishing in the bottom quarter. In fact even if we climb to mid table by January, Arshavin is the only sensible name of the three, and he's hardly busting his balls to move to North London - at least not to the white side anyway. No, as it stands the only aisles we can shop in are those labelled "out of contract" or "10 mil and under" - unless Comolli has something up his sleeve, and who'd risk a tenner on that one? (Please don't even talk to me about tranny loving, injury prone fat boy Ronaldo coming on some nonsensical pay-as-you-play arrangement - it's simply not going to happen.)

So for now Mr. Bent is the big cheese, and it might not be going too far to suggest that the next 270 minutes of his footballing career could be the most important of his life. Spurs ARE moving in the right direction. We had 27 attempts on goal against Hull, with 16 being on target. Stoke are there for the taking, as are Bolton at home, if Bent can put in the kind of performance some of us think he is capable of then wins from those 2 games and ANY kind of result against Arsenal will turn our season around.

So step up Darren Ashley Bent, your club needs you.

Spurs MUST Issue Statement Over Hughes Joke

I damn near choked on my cornflakes this morning when I read that Spurs have allegedly "sounded out" Mark Hughes regarding becoming their manager before the end of the international break next week. They're not even beating around the bush with this one - "Spurs officials contacted Sparky’s advisors yesterday to offer him the job hours before Manchester City’s UEFA Cup tie with Omonia Nicosia. " - are they frigging serious?

I am just astounded that a national newspaper can get away with printing something like this. They are in affect directly accusing Tottenham Hotspur FC of tapping up another Premiership manager. What with tapping up being quite a hot issue recently, and the potential punishment for being caught red handed I will find it incredible if the club intends to just let this one go.

As if the notion that Mark Hughes would leave the richest club in the world for bottom of the table crisis club Tottenham wasn't laughable enough the article goes on to claim that Levy "almost offered him the job" last year. How exactly do you "almost" offer someone a job? Are we to believe that the relentless pursuit of Ramos over the course of 3 months eventually resulted in Hughes "almost" being offered the job?

But really this is no laughing matter because if, as I HAVE to believe, this is utter bollocks, then a certain amount of damage has already been done. The press as a whole will now move away from discussing the form of the team and start touting other candidates for the job, quoting bookmakers prices etc etc as they love to do, and that is a slippery slope that intensifies the pressure on the current incumbent and usually leads to only one outcome.

And make no mistake, sacking Ramos after the chaotic goings on of the summer when we are still in all cup competitions and only 2 points worse off than we were this time last season, and the season before, would make us a laughing stock and may well be the final straw for me. Has sacking the manager been a successful policy for Tottenham over the last 10 years? Of course not so how is sacking another one - a man who was widely regarded as one of the best in Europe a year ago - going to help now?

The problem is that some quaters have already joined the newly formed Ramos Out Brigade, and whilst not as popular as the Jol Out Brigade in it's heyday, members are being actively recruited.

But who is seriously going to replace him? Hughes? Moyes? Klinsmann? I don't see how any of those are better than Ramos, what have they done apart from guide their clubs to mid-table? Would there be another overhaul of the playing staff come January? And what if they lose half a dozen games on the trot, or we end up out of the cups and 15th in the league by March, what then - another sacking and on to the next one?

What a bloody joke!

If Ramos gets sacked in the next fortnight it will prove only one thing - that our beloved club is being run by the biggest bunch of clowns seen in North London since Billy Smart's packed up and moved on.

Why Spurs are Feeder Club

I realise that the title is provocative and for that I apologise, however, you only have to watch Match of the Day to be amazed at how many ex-Spurs are plying their trade at other Premiership clubs. I think that we must have set some form of a record this year with virtually half the league having ex-Spurs at their disposal and Sunderland, Fulham and Portsmouth being able to field the best part of half a teams-worth! Based on our current, albeit temporary league position I guess you could say that makes us a feeder club!!!

In the past many of us have seen this as "clearing the deadwood", but whether you think that coaching these ex-players was the football equivalent of polishing turds or not, this policy has stripped us of the kind of continuity that every good team cultivates by having a group of players stick together for a substantial amount of time. Players, even mediocre players, play better as a team over time and although the Tottenham carousel has ensured Spurs are on a sound financial footing, the flip side is we have not really had an opportunity to see our players develop as a unit over 4, 3 or even 2 years (although I suppose we'd actually need to keep the same manager for that period for it to work, and there's not much chance of that in Spursland).

The latest nail in this coffin are the whispers that the Arshavin deal fell through because of Levy's concerns regarding the player's sell on value. When did Man U, Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea or any other club with genuine ambition ever worry about a player's sell on value? They don't, and that is because when they buy players they buy them to play, and more often than not they expect them to play for at least the length of the contract they sign.

They do not regard them as an investment opportunity to be bought and sold as if playing some sort of bizarre stocks and shares game: Make a few mill here, lose a few mill there but as long as we are operating a profit then who gives a shit?

The pattern seems to be:

1. Buy a bunch of young, promising players, foreign unknowns, British boys on the brink of international recognition etc etc
2. Play them for a year
3. Sell those that attract critical acclaim for a vast profit
4. Clear the deadwood at a small loss
5. Keep the rest for another year
6. Repeat
   

Am I saying they do it deliberately? Well yes, as a matter of fact I bloody well am! You may say that Man United engineered the sales of Carrick and Berbatov, and that the players wanted to leave and so on. But the reason they got away with it is because Man U and the rest KNOW that every player at Spurs has a price because every player at Spurs DOES have a price. Of course to save face the club is going to blame everybody but themselves, tell you that the player got tapped up, tell you that his head was turned, tell you that they didn't want to sell - but sell they do and that my friends is why every one of us should be worried by the Gareth Bale talk.

Of course, they won't sell for £10m mind you. No, that is not enough profit for a young international like him. But if Liverpool get serious and the talk escalates to £18m, £20m or more then he'll be out the door before the champagne corks have even hit the wall.

The phrase "financially stable" is probably more palatable to the average Spurs fan than "feeder club" and we should probably thank Mr Levy for the former. However, if Tottenham are to achieve success in terms that are not measured by how far into the black the balance sheet is every year then we need to stop selling our best players - more than that, we need to consider not selling our average players!

Unfortunately the evidence suggests that the ENIC business model has zero contingency for this and for that reason I say...

...bring on the billionaires!!!

SPURS: The Time to Panic is 12/11/08

After another dismal display in the league yesterday there can be no denying that Tottenham are struggling. This has - quite rightly - caused the customary outrage amongst some fans with a fair percentage of them ramming their fat thumbs firmly into the button marked PANIC! Well, although I'm as disappointed as the next man by events so far I am here to try to persuade you that it's not the disaster many are touting it as.

You see, thanks to those stat merchants over at TopSpurs, I have looked into this and bad starts are something of a tradition at Spurs! Let's just look at the last 6 years...

2008/2009 - W: 0 D: 2 L: 4
2007/2008 - W: 1 D: 1 L: 4
2006/2007 - W: 1 D: 1 L: 4
2005/2006 - W: 2 D: 3 L: 1
2004/2005 - W: 2 D: 4 L: 0
2003/2004 - W: 1 D: 1 L: 4

So in reality we are only short of converting one of our draws this season into a win to be off to the same start as the previous 2 seasons! 2004/2005 looks like a bit of an anomaly doesn't it? You may be interested to know that in that season, after a loss in game 7 and a win in game 8 we went on to lose the next 6 games IN A ROW!!!!

Remove the emotion for a minute and think about this: Did we really have much chance of doing well in the league this year? What does "doing well in the league" really mean - 4th place? Where's the glory in that? We'd make it into the qualifiers for the Champions League and just ask Everton if you think those games are a foregone conclusion. We are still in all 3 cup competitions and are leading at half time in one of them. Personally I would rather win the UEFA Cup than scrape 4th in the league (hmm, unless it was to bump the Arse down to 5th!).

Of course, in a perfect world those goals are not mutually exclusive, it's not a perfect world but nonetheless our season is far from over. Were we infused with unrealistic expectations based on a tremendous preseason? I believe we were, maybe the powers that be will line up stiffer opposition next year! I admit that apart from the bonus point at the Bridge, all our games so far have fallen into the "haveable" category - but have we really been embarrassed in any of them? I don't think so.

If Ramos "doesn't know what he's doing" then I have a certain amount of sympathy for him. I reckon you could ask 10 Spurs fans for their starting XI against Hull next weekend and you'd get 10 different line-ups and 3 different systems! The board have conspired to make it impossible for him to experiment preseason and so he has no other option but to tinker now. It's not ideal, but we have to believe that he's going to figure it our sooner rather than later.

The alternatives are simply too distressing to think about. Put a note in your diary - the 12th of November is the date the panic can truly begin. By then we will have played the Poles in the UEFA, the Scousers in the Carling Cup and Arsenal in the league - three big opportunities for redemption right there. We also have a potentially morale boosting run of Hull, Bolton and Stoke before the North London Derby - 9 points would sort us right out, and by God do we need them.

So, whilst we all wanted to see visible signs of progress from the off, I'm afraid we are going to have to settle for the same old story this August/September. Hard work, a bit of belief, the backing of the fans and hopefully we can turn it round.

Tottenham have 44 days to do it.

RAMOS: Sunday People are Scum

According to today's Sunday People, Juande Ramos is considering his position at Tottenham. Now, I realise The People is not renowned as being a bastion of journalistic integrity, but this load of old tosh really takes the biscuit. This story is so outrageous, so anti-Spurs and so sensationalist that it is nothing more than an attempt to kick a club while they're down. I know I should try to ignore it but it's the kind of irresponsible journalism that really winds me up.

If, for one minute, we dissect this codswallop, we can see it bears all the trademarks of a story made up in the pub...

The People says:

Juande Ramos is on the brink of quitting Spurs, less than a year after taking over as boss. The Spanish coach and his family are struggling to settle in England and Ramos has told close friends he is homesick. Ramos is said to be seriously considering his future at White Hart Lane and looking at a return to Spain.

We say:
Ramos has hardly moved to the other side of the planet. I thought being "homesick" was something that affected 17 year old strikers who have left mummy and daddy for the first time, not experienced leaders of men that are in their mid fifties. Would you seriously consider quitting multi-million pound job, managing one of the most promising teams in probably the best league in the world because you were a bit homesick?

The People says:

As well as having problems in his personal life, Ramos is under scrutiny following Tottenham's disastrous start to the season. Although he led Spurs to victory in last season's Carling Cup final, Spurs go into this afternoon's match against Wigan at the foot of the Premier League, having made their worst start for 34 years.

We say:
What problems? Is it just his homesickness or are The People suggesting he has other issues? The rest of this paragraph is just statement of fact.

The People say:

There have been question marks raised over his failure to line up a suitable replacement for Dimitar Berbatov, who was always destined to join Manchester United before the transfer window closed. And Ramos's judgement has been called into question following the signings of goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes and striker Roman Pavlyuchenko for a combined total of almost £22million.

We say:
The failure to replace Berbatov was hardly the fault of Ramos. He did not ask Levy to sell his best striker half an hour before the deadline, not to mention that it is technically Comolli's responsibility to line up replacements. Also, who exactly is it calling his judgement into question? Gomes has proven to be a top quality keeper and is roundly regarded as a massive improvement over his predecessor. Pavlychenko is an established international who was the toast of Europe this summer and has made one appearance for his new club. Are The People suggesting that both these players are toilet? If so then they clearly don't know their arse from their elbow.

The People say:

Sources close to Ramos claim he dislikes the English weather and also the food. The 53-year-old, who lives near the club's training ground in Chigwell, Essex, has also struggled to get to grips with the English language. And his wife and three children, have been slow to settle.

We say:
This is the most ludicrous of all the statements. I mean OK, we have hardly had a gloriously sunny summer, but London is hardly Siberia. I would also expect that an intelligent man like Ramos did not just rock up at Heathrow one day to be completely gobsmacked by the fact that it was raining and a little bit chilly. Claiming he doesn't like the food is border line insulting. London must have the widest variety of restaurants available to it's inhabitants of any city in the world - and failing that are you telling me Mrs. Ramos can't find the ingredients to whip up a tasty paella at her local Sainsbury's?

The language issue has been made much of by the press recently. But the players all say his English is OK and that it's the language he conducts his training sessions in. Also, I may be mistaken but I believe he gave his first English speaking press conference only a week or so ago.

The People say:

To add to the problems for Ramos, there is already unrest in the dressing-room following Tottenham's dismal start. Winger David Bentley, the pick of the summer signings, sought showdown talks with Ramos after Monday's defeat by Aston Villa because he is unhappy that he had not yet been allowed to play in his favoured position and had instead been used in a central role.

We say:
The scum at The People are trying to insinuate that the unrest is directed at Ramos as a precursor to saying he is losing the dressing room. This whole paragraph is unfounded and provocative. The language used deliberately sets out to paint a picture of unrest. Did Bentley actually have "showdown talks" or did he simply talk to the boss about his performances and how he thought he could improve. In fact, how do the People even know this happened?

So all in all it strikes me as the largest pile of steaming manure that I have read in a very long time. If Ramos leaves any time soon I'll eat my membership card, but one thing is for certain, if he is not the manager come the end of the season it won't be because he's sick of fish and chips.

SPURS: Transfer Window Success?

"You've got to have a bit of bubbly at the shareholder's meeting, haven't you?", or so says the fat man on the Nationwide adverts; it is a sentiment that seems to be very popular with the board at Tottenham Hotspur. Daniel Levy may not be an unscrupulous banker, but is he something that sounds very similar? Having sat up watching Sky Sports News and reading internet articles until gone midnight last night I get the feeling that there are a ton of Spurs fans who are not happy bunnies this morning.

Well, to further cement my place as a beacon of optimism amidst the doom-mongers and naysayers that frequent NewsNow, I am here to tell you that this transfer window has been a MASSIVE success, and that Daniel Levy has done a FANTASTIC job. Please read on...

Firstly we must look not at the detail and shady shenanigans of the last day, but at the window as a whole. Do we have a better squad now than we had in May? I think that with the exception of the forward line the answer has to be yes.

Defence OUT

• Robbo - Often a liability and doing nothing at Rovers to dispel that feeling.
• Chimbonda - Reasonable on his day but often caught out of position. Despised in some quaters
• Kaboul - Had potential (maybe) but burned his bridges and had to go
  
• Y.P. Lee - Shocking distribution, was just not good enough
• Gardener - Glad to see the back of him, hearts sank when his name was on the teamsheet
  

Come on, look at that list and tell me we haven't done well at shipping out players who were always a target for the moaners (including me this time) - and to have recouped something in the region of £15m in the process is good business as far as I'm concerned.

Defence IN

• Gomes - Would Robbo have kept out that Lampard chip? I rest my case.
• Corluka - A solid defender, young, versatile and with plenty of both international and Premiership experience. A superb buy.

So defensively I say that our team is definitely stronger. Woody and King are immense, Corluka is the kind of quality we were hoping for to solve the King issue, Hutton and Gunter look more than capable, Bale is class and even Gilberto is not as much of a clown as Lee or BAE (high praise indeed!).

Midfield OUT

• Tainio - Good intentions but lacked quality
• Malbranque - sorry to see him go, but with our midfield acquisitions was never going to get a look in

Midfield IN

• Bentley - A committed player with a point to prove, and a Spurs man, he has already impressed
• Modric - Yet to see the best of him but arrived with a big reputation and was a real coup
• Dos Santos - A live wire and already a fans favourite, looks like incredible business at under £5m

To me this is the most exciting part of the pitch for us now. In Bentley we finally have someone who can consistently deliver a dead ball, Modric is a player who very rarely loses possession and Dos Santos is the type to get us all on our feet. The only glaring omission is the arrival of the defensive midfielder we had all been hoping for.

Zokora made some good tackles against Chelsea, but again highlighted his inability to distribute the ball to his own men and was positionally shaky (unless the plan was to give Lampard as much space as possible around the edge of the box). The one signing that would have appeased all the irate Spurs fans last night was that of Miguel Veloso, but alas it never materialised. Still, Corluka can play there and it will be interesting to see whether Ramos tries it in games where King is fit. We may also find out whether Huddlestone and/or O'Hara can step up into the role given one more season.

In other areas Lennon looks like his final ball is improving and Jenas... Well Jenas is Jenas, love him or hate him.

Strikers OUT

Let's not beat around the bush here, we have lost one of the best partnerships in the league, and in particular one of the best players in the world. The unfortunate thing is that we didn't really have much choice in the matter.

After the events of the last few weeks, what you must remember is this: No matter where he went, Berbatov was finished at Spurs. Could you really imagine him ever pulling on a Spurs shirt again? He would have been booed off the pitch and any and all opportunities. Old Red Nose may be sitting in his office this morning thinking he has won, but at least we didn't get completely stiffed. They only wanted to pay £20m yet in the end Levy got over £30m for him. He may not have handled it well, but he deserves credit for the end result. The Madrid bid appears to be a fabrication and the player was never going to sign for City no matter what they offered. To get more than the asking price and a young talent on loan with a view to buy seems really rather reasonable to me.

So Fergie got his man, Berba got his dream and Levy got his money. I guess in a way everybody's happy - except for those of us who wonder how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place.

Keane is a different matter, I don't know how I feel about this one. Part of me is sad to see him go, but, well, part of me really isn't. I mean he's good, but I'd hardly class him as one of Europe's elite.

Strikers IN

• Pavlychenko - Classy frontman who performs well at international level
• Campbell - ???

OK, so on the face of it talentwise we are poorer up front., but I want to be positive about it. I suspect we all need to see more of Pav before we can pass judgement but I think he is a better proposition than much of what we were linked to - Santa Cruz, Milito, Kanoute, Heskey, I think that the Russian is better than all of those.

As for Campbell, well he's extremely highly rated and is a clever bit of business considering it was last minute. Think about it, what we have here is a young man who's going to be happy to sit on the bench and wait for his chance. He sounds good enough to make an impact if provided with that chance and could turn out to be a very good player. If he doesn't make the grade we ship him back and we don't owe Man U anything. Surely it is better to take this boy on loan than to do a Rasiak at 11.50pm and wake up to discover Heskey holding up a shirt with a big grin on his face.

The only criticism I have of Levy here is that the writing was on the wall regarding Berba weeks ago so he should have had a Plan B - and that plan should have been more realistic than trying to get Huntelaar with 24 hours to go. However, we should all be happy that he didn't go and buy any old shite to compensate. I suspect Ramos' influence has been positive here.

So all in all I think things look good. My glass is half full. I see a squad that nearly beat Chelsea get strengthened by another £30m of talent and sources suggest that Arshavin could still happen come January. Considering our current league position, the obvious talent of our squad and the guiding hand of a manager who has proven himself able to get the best out of players I am convinced that, in the immortal words of Yazz and the Plastic Population: The only way is up baby.

BIOYC!

SPURS: A Timetable for Success

Ahhh, the traditional early season doom and gloom is in full swing, you've got to love it haven't you? Us Spurs fans are nothing if not predictable. A few top class signings and a storming pre-season followed by zero points from 2 games and a nasty turn in the Berba-saga has sent some quarters into a mind-boggling frenzy of emotion. It appears as though following Spurs is the sporting equivalent of a desperate crack habit to some people.

Back in the real world we realize that losing the first 2 games of the season (even the first 3 should Chelsea twist the knife) does not wreck the season of a team whose target is top 4 flirtation and a couple of decent cup runs. To put it in perspective we are currently 3 points behind Arsenal and 4 points behind Man U - I doubt very much that we'll be crying into our eggnog if that's still the case come Christmas.

Anyone who actually saw the entire Sunderland game, and not just the highlights on MOTD, would have seen that Spurs dominated the second half but just failed to produce any clear cut chances. No, I'm not saying it was good enough, but there are encouraging signs and glimpses of a little of that pre-season magic. Ramos needs to find some balance - and fast, but I'm sure he will, he just needs time (not too much mind you). You don't go from Europe's most sought after coach to class dunce in 6 months. Chelsea will be a tough ask, but then after their opening day shenanigans they were hardly convincing against Wigan were they?

The Berbatov saga is getting on everyone's tits, but on the bright side will be resolved one way or the other within the next 5 days. This site is a firm supporter of the player, but even I'm of the belief he should now go. Say we keep him - what then? He's got a mountain to climb to win over the fans and we'd only have to go through all this shite again come January. The money monkeys have handled this with as much aplomb as they showed during Jolgate - but who are we kidding, Berba was always for sale. Otherwise the whole thing could have been nipped in the bud a year ago when Mr. Unpopular signed his new contract.

However, and this is where it turns, Pavlyuchenko is coming and this one isn't just internet chit-chat, the player himself says he's just waiting on his visa. The oracle known as the Daily Mail insist Spurs are also "working very hard" to bring Huntelaar to the party before Monday. Surely not - never in a million years says you - but then I'd have said the same about Pav this time 2 days ago. The Corluka deal is not dead and Russian superstar Arshavin still pines for North London with his own manager at one point "certain" the hairless one will be a Spurs player before much longer - speculation that will no doubt intensify now his compatriot is semi-confirmed and Zenit have signed Danny.

Let me remind you friends that, unlike tales of Heskey, Borriello and various South Americans. none of these deals are the usual harebrained stories invented by unscrupulous hacks during a boozy lunch. These are solid stories, backed by quotes from players and clubs alike (OK, the Huntelaar story reeks of Heineken, but the others are good). So let me paint you a rosier picture with this timeline for the next few days:

1. Pavlyuchenko announced Thursday
2. Corluka announced Friday
3. Berbatov sold to Man U Saturday
4. A performance of grit and determination sees us run out 2-1 victors against Chelsea on Sunday
5. Huntelaar and Arshavin announced on Monday

If the next 5 days pan out like this I rather suspect that even the most pessimistic Spurs fan may crack a little smile (once they've stopped moaning about the lack of a defensive midfielder that is).

Whether you agree with the details or not is irrelevant, if Pav and/or A.N. Others of suitable quality arrive, Berba goes and we get 3 points this weekend, next week is going to feel like the start of our season proper and maybe, just maybe, the doom and gloom can be put back in it's box - for a while at least.

ENGLAND: A Spurs Fan's View

I realise it's outside of my usual remit, but as I dragged my sorry arse all the way to Wembley for the England game last night I thought I'd give you something to read that doesn't involve Bulgarians or Russians.

Firstly let me say what a brilliant stadium it is; superb views all round, spacious seating and even escalators - yes escalators - that deliver you to the upper echelons. Those of you lucky enough to be there for the Carling Cup final must have been in dream land. A great game and an electric atmosphere in a stadium like this must have been incredible.

Last night however, I was treated to neither.

OK, I wasn't expecting England vs Germany like excitement from the crowd, but the thing that surprised me the most was the amount of booing that goes on. Boos for the Czechs, boos for Lampard, boos for Ashely Cole, boos for Spurs players, boos for slow play, boos for wasteful play, boos for passing to keepers, boos at half time, boos at full time - even boos for the section of the crowd that didn't want to carry on the Mexican wave that was arguably more entertaining than the second half. In fact, the one person who consistently managed to escape the boo-boys was David Beckham - my word how the England crowd love Becks - and rightly so I suppose, he has been a Lion over the years.

Anyway, on to the game and it all looks very much like the motto is Same Old England. Gerrard, Beckham, Lampard and Barry in midfield? I thought we were supposed to be making progress under Capello! Someone needs to sit him down and make him watch every single video of games where Lampard and Gerrard have been on the pitch at the same time.

Is it me or do we have 4 players here who are almost identical in their desire to play it sideways and backwards? None of them can beat a man, none of them have pace to burn, all of them want to play a central role. It's not that I bear any grudges against these players, just that everybody except the man who matters knows they can't all play at once.

No matter what people say, Becks is still dangerous, but I'm sorry to say that his days as a starter should be ended. Barry is capable of being a classy DM but with Gerrard, Lampard and at times even Rooney getting in his way his job was made that much more difficult.

Gerrard on the left - I don't even need to bitch about this one. Capello reckons Gerrard wasn't on the left, was he watching the same game? England were not playing a 4-3-2-1, they may have been told to but it somehow got lost in translation and the players opted for 4-5-1. Lampard...? Well Lampard was Lampard.

Why is it the experts believe that to be successful at international level you need to slow everything down and keep possession for as long as possible. For England this always results in 25 pointless passes around the centre circle and an over ambitious through ball or a long punt to nobody. England need to play with pace. We need trickery, quick ball and a direct style as seen weekly in our glorious league - or shown recently by exciting sides such as the Dutch or the Spanish. We have the players, we just need to get out of the big name mentality.

Last night was another example of an England game crying out for the introduction of a Wright-Phillips, an Ashley Young, or dare I say it - even a Theo Walcott. What we got was Downing for Rooney and another aging relic in Emile Heskey. Heskey is not international class, never was, never will be. Why pick him when our very own Darren Bent is in such blistering form (Saturday's blip aside)?

Finally however, Capello came to his senses and brought on some Spurs players! Woody looked every bit as good as Terry and a hell of a lot better that Rio. How we got this bloke for £7m never ceases to amaze. Jenas, and in particular Bentley tried to inject the kind of urgency we had been waiting for with at least a modicum success.

So all in all it was same same but different:

• The "old guard" couldn't be bothered and nor could the crowd.
• The Spurs contingent did them and their club proud - both by performance and enthusiasm.
• "Possession football" is draining the life out of the international game (for us at least).

England will doubtless lumber their way past the might of Andorra, Khazikstan and Belarus and crow about how they are back on track, it's results that matter, it's all about qualifying, blah, blah, blah. They might even consider a draw in Zagreb a "success", but last night taught me 2 valuable lessons: 1. We aren't going to win anything any time soon as those in charge remain clueless about how to organise the best England team and 2. Never, ever go to an England friendly unless it's to have a day out with the kids.

SPURS: Hope Springs Eternal

Tottenham are off to a rocky start in the Premiership after crashing to a disappointing 2-1 defeat at the Riverside this weekend, instantly realigning the inflated expectations of a large contingent of our support. What short memories us Spurs fans have! After a glorious pre-season that included a 5-0 demolition of one of Italy's finest, many fans were expecting us to get off to a flyer. Even I was a believer of the hype - I should have known better, I've been a Spurs man for 30 years and every August feels the same! A few exciting signings and about £50m later it's Bob's your uncle, Big Four here we come. The reality however, is a different kettle of fish.

In all the hullabaloo of signing some of the finest attacking midfielders around, Ramos et al have now seemingly decided that playing them all at the same time is the Spurs Way, in the process brushing the need for tough tackling in and around the centre circle conveniently under the carpet. Having 6 attacking players on the pitch might be a good idea when you're 3 goals down at home, but on the opening day of the season on a grim day up north it doesn't seem so smart - but then hindsight always was a wonderful thing.

When I saw that starting line up one of my eyebrows was raised so far it came clean off my face. JJ has never, will never be a DM. Modric certainly snaps at the heels, but I'm yet to be convinced that asking him to cover back when we attack is anything other than a waste of his talents. So who did that leave to break down the inevitable counter attacks? Well, as the septics say "You do the math".

For me Lennon would have been the casualty with Modric stepping forward and then either the Hudd or O'Hara being asked to hold (I really, really hope we are grooming O'Hara for a DM role as I think he'd a legend there one day). Failing that reinstate Zokora and play Gunter at RB, he looks a decent player by all accounts. What I sincerely hope is that Ramos stops trying to pioneer the radical 4-0-5-1 formation, as it's only going to end in tears.

Defensively Dawson is a capable squad player (although you'd be well within your rights to disagree with that based on this weekend), Zokora is not really a right back (although every team needs a utility man) and BAE is still a kid with only a handful of games to his name (where was the more experienced Gilberto?). Even with Mr. Dependable and The Octopus that my friends is a back line that smacks of mid-table mediocrity.

And what of all this "I can play every game this season" talk from Captain King? I have yet to see an explanation as to why he started on the bench; or Bale; or Berba? At least with the latter we can draw our own conclusions. Regular readers will know that I am the most optimistic of Berbatov fans, but even I can now see that we have passed the point of no return.

When (rather than if) Berbatov goes, Tottenham will have 2 weeks to buy one quality "fox in the box", a world class defensive midfielder and a central defender of recognised ability to partner Woody (hopefully Corluka but I see that slipping away). I don't hold out much hope of a hatrick on this front, but without them we are praying that King really is fixed, O'Hara/Thudd/Zokora have the season of their lives and that Darren Bent stays injury free for the next 9 months!

Well, I suppose those things could happen, so maybe it's top four after all...

Up The Spurs!

Berbatov: THE FACTS

Surfing the internet at work all day has it's ups and downs when it comes to Spurs news. On the one hand you get to hear about signings almost immediately after they happen, on the downside you have to endure the utter bollocks such as that served up by abominations like 'CaughtOffside'. But if there's one thing that is starting to really get my goat it's all the Berba-Bashing that seems to be coming from some quarters. If that sounds like you then hang your head in shame and open your mind to the possibility that you are being strung a merry dance by the popular press.

The problem is that if something is repeated enough times then people start to take it for fact, rather than stepping back and thinking about it for themselves. These "facts" then get repeated by the sheep who have nothing positive to say and before you know it, BOOM, a man's character, commitment, ability and achievements have gone up in smoke. It is bloody disgraceful, and unfortunately for Dimitar Berbatov the snowball effect has now become unstoppable.

Here are the charges:

Berbatov is a Moody, Sulking Git

The Prosecution:

The evidence to substantiate this charge are claims that he has been seen waving his arms around and looking a bit stroppy when someone plays a bad pass to him. This is backed up by reports of him looking "disinterested" while both on the field and on the bench.

The Defence:

It appears to the defence that some Spurs fans have selectively short memories. The defendant has been doing this for about 2 years, yet before all this Berba-to-Man-U nonsense started, back in the not-so-distant past when he was a hero to the fans, nobody seemed to mind about that. It must also be considered that the player is also prone to the same reaction when he himself plays a bad pass or misses a great opportunity. Surely he's just showing frustration.

Berbatov himself does not have the happy-go-lucky demeanour of Dos Santos, but why the fuck do people suddenly find that offensive? Some say it would be nice for him to look like he was enjoying it, but why should he? Maybe he's just the type to take his game very, very seriously - and what's wrong with that?

The claims that he looks moody on the bench are laughable. Firstly I bet if there was a camera on you for the entire length of a football game they could catch plenty of shots of you looking a bit bored and distant. Secondly I would like to present Exhibit A - recent footage from the last few friendlies of Berbatov looking relaxed and shown to be signing autographs and joking around with others on the bench. I just don't see ANY evidence of this moodiness.

Berbatov is a Negative Influence in the Dressing Room

The Prosecution:

Due to his desperation to play for one of Europe's elite, and the subsequent failure of those dreams to become reality, Mr. Berbatov is proving to be a right miserable bastard and a "bad apple". This in turn is dragging the morale of the rest of the squad to new depths and setting an extremely bad example for the younger players.

The Defence:

Am I the only person to find the concept of this a complete joke? Firstly, as Exhibit A has already shown, the demeanour of the defendant in his relations with his teammates looks anything but negative. Secondly, does anyone have any evidence that the Spurs squad are suffering poor morale problems at the moment? Quite the contrary in fact, they all look about as excited as the rest of us about being a part of New Look Spurs. Lastly, would someone mind pointing out to me how anyone other than about 30 people who have direct daily interaction with him have the first fucking idea about what his influence in the dressing room is? No, I didn't think so.

Berbatov Want's to Leave Spurs

The Prosecution:

Mr. Berbatov has his heart set on a move away from Tottenham. This is in order to further his career, increase his wage and to allow him to compete at the highest level. The prosecution cites Chairman Levy as having publicly stated that the player has "had his head turned" and comments from the players agent have suggested that he is extremely keen to leave.

The Defence:

Well, it's a fair cop on this one. Yes Berbs may well want a move to Man U or Barca or any of the other super-clubs, but can you really blame him? The defence takes umbrage at the suggestion that Mr. Berbatov is desperate to leave and would prefer the wording of such claims to be more along the lines of "quite fancies a move to" or "would relish the chance at" or "is flattered by". May we remind you that the defendant has not handed in an official transfer request as far as we know, has never publicly stated his desire to leave the club and, apart from some snide and unwise remarks from his agent (in which he may or may not have been complicit), has behaved in an exemplary manner whist under the extreme and unwanted glare of the British media - a glare under which many a lesser man may have cracked (think Barry, Ronaldo et al). Therefore, is it not beyond the realms of possibility that should he still be a Tottenham player at the end of August, that this is hardly going to be the end of the world for him and that he will continue to honour his contract to the best of his ability like a professional?

In summary, Dimitar Berbatov is still the footballing genius he was 9 months ago when he was the darling of White Hart Lane. His performance may not have been 100% in the last 5 months but seeing as our season was effectively over in March it seems unfair to hang him for that - could it also be that all the speculation has had an unsettling effect?

Anyone who actively wants this man to leave the club is insane. He is one of only a handful of players in the world who has the ability to single-handedly snatch victory from the jaws of defeat and that is why he's worth £30m. Wouldn't you rather have that talent available to Juande Ramos than Alex Ferguson?

None of us is qualified to say that he is wrecking team spirit, none of us has a right to accuse this man of lacking the integrity to honour his contract should he have to, and only an idiot would fail to recognise the contribution he has made to the team in the last 2 years. So before all you detractors jump in and start slagging him (and possibly me!) off, perhaps you should consider the evidence first and stop allowing yourself to be manipulated by common misconception, the gutter press, and ultimately Old Red Nose himself.

The Benty Bandwagon

On a night when the controversial departure of fans favourite Robbie Keane was finally wrapped up, what better tonic for the faithful than a 4 goal super-show from the player who must be about the most under-rated member of the Spurs squad.

If Darren Bent was looking to send a message to the fans and the manager then he could not have picked a better time to do so. Granted a hatful of goals in a pre-season friendly against Norwich does not make him the messiah, but if he continues in this vein then the departure of "Mr. Tottenham" may not be the catastrophe many seem to believe it is.

I have always been a big fan of Benty. Here is a man that arrived for a club record £16m and may have rightly expected to have been a major player for the team. Instead he has hardly been given a fair crack at nailing down a regular starting berth - not due to a lack of talent, but because dislodging a partnership as fruitful as the Keane/Berba one is a difficult task.

Yet he has not complained, not released snidey comments and veiled threats to the media, he has not pestered his agent to start touting his services and has even turned down guaranteed football elsewhere if recent reports are to be believed. Instead he has got his head down, worked hard and done his best when given his chances. How refreshing!

I think many Spurs fans are too quick to write this guy off as a waste of money. He has the potential to be a 20 goal a season man and is a natural for the lone striker role in Ramos' 4-2-3-1 formation as he will thrive on the service that 3 tricky attacking midfielders could provide.

I for one was very excited by the new look team. Dos Santos looks set to be a huge favourite at the lane (did you see his backheeled nutmeg on 67 minutes???) and with Modric and Lennon also buzzing around the edge of the box and Jenas roaming from deep it could be another season of we're-gonna-score-more-goals-than-you football. I can't frigging wait!

So, although the Setanta cameraman seemed obsessed by shots of a relaxed and suspiciously happy Dimitar Berbatov (maybe he's trying to change his image!), last night was about Darren Bent.

Well don son, now go do it against Arsenal!

The Sorry Story of Younes Kaboul

When Spurs signed Younes Kaboul last summer he was roundly touted as "one for the future". Fans who are usually quick to criticise were told to give the lad a chance to develop and the usual cliches about a young player in a new country were brushed off and served up on internet message boards around the community. Wise words indeed, young players, particularly defenders should be given time to grow. If only someone had bothered to tell Younes.

With the ongoing saga of Ledley King's fitness Mr. Kaboul got several opportunities to show why he was so highly rated. He showed glimpses of why the French U21 coach made him captain and looked strong, comfortable on the ball and not lacking in half a bag* of pace.

*bags, I think you'll find, are the unit by which pace is measured.

The only snag with all this is that Younes Kaboul, upon being thrust into the Premiership limelight, decided that he was by far the best player ever to grace our hallowed turf and figured that he would play defence, midfield and maybe even a striking role too if he jolly well fancied it - much to the chargrin of his defensive partners.

Nonetheless BMG stuck by him, even though we never won a single game in the league when he played. All was well with Younes until that fateful night against Getafe when the cuddles dried up and the Spaniard took over.

"I played the entire first half of the season but since the change of manager, I have not played," said Kaboul whilst kicking the floor in a huff.

"Ramos has not really given me a chance. When a player doesn't have the confidence of his coach, he can't do much on the pitch. But when a coach has confidence in you, you take the handbrake off and you race away." said Kaboul, welling up a little.

"I have had no explanation from him. He doesn't talk with anyone. Communication doesn't exist with him. He isn't playing me? That is his choice - I respect it, I am a professional." said Kaboul, by now choking back floods of tears.

What he failed to mention was that between Jol getting sacked and the first of March, Younes Kaboul featured in a further 19 games for Tottenham. Now here we are on the cusp of a new season, with all those old corners turned and nothing but a straight road to glory ahead, but Younes doesn't want a part of it. No sir, his feelings have been hurt and the damage has been done. How very dare we make him endure a few games on the subs bench, a player of his quality too!!!

Nope, he wants out, he's had enough of this treatment and has been gazing lovingly toward the outstretched arms of 'Arry Redknapp and the might of Portsmouth Football Club. Except what's this on the fax machine? Roy Keane of Sunderland is interested in taking him up North as part of the buy 3 get one free deal running at the Spurs shop this week?

Laugh? He damn near shat himself!

Younes was so sickened by the thought of moving to a club of Sunderlands stature that he couldn't even be arsed to comment, instead he left it to his agent:

"Younes wouldn't join Sunderland even if there was an earthquake."

Now, quite what the relevance of this might be is unclear. I for one would like clarification as to when natural disasters started to influence the decisions of football players. Would he perhaps join if there was a tidal wave? Or what about a plague of locusts, would that be reason enough for him to pen a 4 year deal?

Anyway, the noble agent assures us that Kaboul has "more interesting options than Sunderland." which is hardly groundbreaking news, "he would prefer to have his chance at Tottenham rather than moving to Sunderland." and there you have it - who said loyalty was dead?

Younes Kaboul is a decent enough player and I would quite like to have seen him as part of the 4 central defensive options we need. Given time, quality coaching and a well paced integration he could even have been a long term replacement for the King, but I just get a feeling that "Younes knows best" both on and off the pitch and for this reason I think we are banging our heads against brick walls with him.

The problem is Younes, that until that fax machine starts whirring again you are a Tottenham player. You may yet be on the bench at WHL next year and any more of this bollocks, combined with one or two dodgy performances and the boo boys will have a field day with you. Then my friend, Sunderland may suddenly become a very attractive proposition after all.

Spurs Stick Two Fingers Up At Members

In this modern era of football one cannot really be naive enough to believe that business savvy is not equally as important to big clubs as their on pitch efforts, but it strikes me that Tottenham Hotspur have a very special disregard for their supporters.

There are two things that have tipped me over the edge recently, first of which is the frankly pathetic members package I received in the post the other day. I swear it wasn't that long ago that I was paying £28 for the privilege of being able to buy a ticket before the public could, and in reward for this investment my club would send me an assortment of goodies including quality pens, scarfs, clocks and car stickers (OK, most of it was good anyway). Regardless of whether I need these things, it showed me that Tottenham Hotspur appreciated me. My Spurs clock still sits on my work desk today and the pen from a couple of years ago travelled the world with me as a prized possession. I may be a sentimental old fool but I like this crap.

This year, the price of basic membership has topped £40, and what I got for that is a bloody joke! My face was a picture of disappointment when I opened my eagerly awaited package to discover a DVD/CD ROM that looks suspiciously like the one I got with my application pack, and a poxy pin that is identical to one they sent a couple of years back (what exactly am I supposed to do with this pin?). On top of that Tottenham refuse to cap the number of members so that the benefit on purchasing early tickets gets more tenuous. I seem to have to be logged on at 10.01am on the launch day to get tickets for any opposition of reasonable quality, and God forbid I get that ticket and then Spurs change the match date a week before the game to a date I can't make - don't get me started on that one!

And so the price goes up, the deal gets worse, nobody complains (or if they do they are ignored) and Tottenham get away with it. I'm not even going to get into ticket price hikes vs on-pitch success...

The next point is this: Why do football clubs completely disregard the views of their members when it comes to transfer policy. Obviously I'm not suggesting we hold a referendum over every aspect of running the club, but I reckon if you asked 100 supporters whether we should sell Berbatov, 99 of them would say no. I can't believe the board doesn't know this.

The manager doesn't want to sell, the fans don't want him to leave and yet here we are on the brink of shipping our best player off to one of our Premiership rivals. Don't give me this bullshit about him wanting to leave and that "you can't keep an unhappy player"- utter twaddle. Somebody could easily remind him that he is under contract and that unfortunately Mr. Berbatov, you are going nowhere son.

He hardly seems to me like the type to go on strike, and so what if his value plummets by half next summer, or he eventually walks out on a free? If selling him costs us a Champions League spot it is a false economy. Berba is the perfect player to be up front on his own in Ramos' rumoured 4-2-3-1 formation. He holds a ball up brilliantly and has sublime vision with which to bring the attacking midfielders into play. I don't care who we sign, Dimitar Berbatov is irreplaceable and, having funded his original transfer, the fans have right to watch him ply his magical trade for the duration of his contract - if we so desire.

And yet the board hear the cash register ring with the quick profit of Mancunian dollars, the money burns a hole in their bank account until we panic buy someone in mid-August for a fraction of the price and the fans views continue to stand for shit.

I thought we were supposed to be part of a CLUB. I will support Spurs until the day I die but I want to feel like a member of that club. I want to feel like everyone who coughs up their £40 (or more) is part of Team Tottenham and together we are working towards success, that somehow we are more valued by the club than someone who's support runs to donning last seasons shirt and turning on Sky Sports One. (I'm not saying those people are worse fans, just that... well you know what I mean!).

At the moment I feel like I am a customer of Tottenham Hotspur Plc, not a member of Tottenham Hotspur FC. Why is 90% of the correspondence I get from my "club" junk mail trying to sell me stuff from credit cards to ludicrously expensive photo albums? I am not adverse to Spurs making money out of us, I just think it's about time they thought about how they could give us a little more value for it. The problem is that the board have a bigger responsibility to the shareholders than they do to the members.

I don't think it would be too much to ask to expect the following for my £40:

• A return to decent gifts!
• A cap of 50,000 members (exluding season tickets) - or at the very least a tiered system that allows basic members with more loyalty points access to tickets before others
  
• FREE season ticket waiting list entry to all members who want it, with those who have more loyalty points getting priority
  
• A complete no questions asked refund on tickets if the match date is changed
• A return to an online booking system where I can choose my exact seats
• FREE THTV accessible via my online account (this may even pay for itself with the extra site traffic generated)
  

The reality is that unlike our money, our views are not important to those in charge. They have the luxury of brand loyalty to an extent other industries can only dream of, and those running Tottenham Hotspur Plc are experts in how to exploit it. Perhaps if we got to vote for our President, like they do on the continent, Mr. Levy would give us a bit more consideration...

The Signing That All Spurs Fans Wanted

In what could well be the best bit of news Spurs fans hear all summer, The Sun, in it's infinite wisdom, are today reporting that Pompey have signed Liverpool's Peter Crouch for £10m. The word is that the lanky target man will pen a 4 year deal - as soon as they can find a table tall enough for him to lean on.

Taking £20m in cold hard cash for Robert Keane is one thing, but a deal for half (or less) that amount with Crouchie as a makeweight would have had me crying into my beer wondering why Tottenham had undone all their good closed season work in one disaster-deal.

Now, if I am being 100% fair I do concede that The Beanpole does get a bit of a tough rap when it comes to his reputation. He's not a bad player, well he's better than me anyway. Fans will point to his record of 14 goals in 28 international appearances as proof that he is world class (even though they conveniently forget that this includes 4 against Caribbean opposition and strikes against other footballing powerhouses such as Andorra, Macedonia, Hungary and Estonia).

Although mostly a bench warmer for the Scousers, he has popped up with the occasional goal, and the cliched moniker of "quick feet for a big man" seems to have been invented for him. He does have an eye for a pass sometimes, and is decent in the air (obviously) but I think that's where the praise ends - unless you include his robot dancing, which in this writers opinion could have been one of the greatest signature goal celebrations in history if he had persevered with it.

Apart from his obvious lack of pace there is one crucial reason why having Peter Crouch in your team is a bad idea, and that is due to it being an easy option to suddenly resort to the long ball when things aren't going so well. Dawson already believes he is capable of 60 yard Hoddle-esque clearances and having someone 10ft tall to aim at would only encourage him. I for one don't want to watch that for the last 20 minutes of every game for the next 4 years.

So all in all this is a good news day. I very much doubt that Keano will be allowed to go to Liverpool, but at least now we can rest easy in the knowledge that if the unthinkable does happen, it will not result in a double slap in the face.

Dos Santos: Better Than Sliced Bread???

With Barcelona themselves confirming that the Dos Santos deal is done it looks like Spurs fans up and down the country can rejoice. This is the player many of us wanted to see come to the Lane and, in a rather surprising development, the deal has been done despite being one of those that has had the arse dragged out of it in the media for the last few weeks.

A proper left foot and a glowing CV should be enough to start us all salivating at the prospect of seeing him weave some magic in an area of the pitch where it has been sadly lacking for many a season. That said, perhaps I could offer a word or two of caution before we all get carried away.

Whilst I am more than happy to take the word of people who have seen him play, it does strike me that sub £5m is a rather low amount for someone as hyped as Dos Santos has been. Yes, that may rise to £8m and yes they have a variable percentage of any sell on fee but nonetheless, I don't think we should be expecting the next Ronaldo here!

With any luck, the fans will break the habit of a lifetime and not expect the boy to be a world beater in his first season. I'm sure he will make a great impression, but let's give him plenty of time to develop. I don't care what you say, £5m does not buy the finished article and I feel we should place this kid somewhere between "first team player" and "hot prospect" to manage our own expectations!!!

The transfer window is shaping up beautifully with Modric and now Dos Santos likely to form the crux of our midfield for years to come. Now where's that centre half and the world class keeper....

SPURS FANS: Vote Now!!!!!

What with the upcoming European Championships being largely irrelevant this time round, the BBC is desperately trying to drum up a little interest in order to justify the huge amount of money it spent acquiring the rights. The "Who will you support?" campaign is certainly well made and it got me thinking about who Spurs fans might be backing.

No doubt Croatia will be popular as it will give us all the chance to take a look at our new boy Modric - but that view must be juxtaposed by the fact that they are the gits that ruined our summer. I think I may plump for Spain due to the (tenuous) Ramos connection and the fact that I quite like it there, but anyone opting for France because "they are the closest country to us" needs shooting!

I was going to include a "I really don't give a toss" option, but come on, that's too easy. So, without further ado I'd like to invite you to vote in the poll I have included on this page, and feel free to post your reasons below.

Has Daniel Levy Gone Stark Raving Mad???

With the dubious news that Ramos has left these shores for his home country it seems as though all the big cheeses have now thrown their weight behind the efforts to cherry pick from a certain Catalan club. This bodes the question: Why oh why oh why are Tottenham Hotspur dicking around with Samuel Eto'o?

I have been a Spurs fan man and boy, and the one thing that experience tells me is that I'll eat my god damned hat if I see the Barca "hotshot" in a Spurs shirt next season. The same goes for that monkey-man Deco.

I have so many issues with this situation I barely know where to begin. Only an idiot would claim that either of these players would not grace the lily white, but the notion of these transfers is so far-fetched that one of only two options can be true: a) it's all a load of bollocks or b) we are planning on paying an obscenely disproportionate amount of money for players whose best years are questionably behind them.

Are either of these players about to accept a season without Champions League football at this stage of their careers? I doubt it. Does Daniel Levy seem like the kind of man to throw over £100,000 a week at a player in direct contravention of his own carefully crafted wage structure? Not in my experience. Is blowing the inevitable Berbatov windfall on one player in a moment of madness the best thing for the club? Never in a million years.

Eto'o is a decent player and a world star, and if we could pick him up for £15m and £80k a week I'd say that was good business (I'd also recommend an umbrella as protection from all that flying pig shit) but £25m for a 27 year old who is a striker in the "clinical finisher" mould, rather than the "tricky playmaker" mould is idiocy. We spanked £17m on one of those a year ago and he has yet to be given a fair crack of the whip.

Deco is an even more ludicrous sentiment as the inconsistent playmaker is the wrong side of 30 and will also be looking to be compensated for "lowering himself" - fuck it, while they're out there they should come back with Ronaldinho as well. Ooooh, hang on - the thought of all three of them toying with the goons next year is mildly arousing, just try not to think about the affect it will have on ticket prices...

In my opinion our £25m would be better spent on a respectable offer for young Marcelo Moreno (10 in 14 in his league, 8 in 10 in the Copa Libertadores and 2 in 4 for his country) with enough left over to buy some consistency on the wings OR an experienced international centre half OR a world class keeper.

I am the first person to say that what Spurs DON'T need is another slew of £5m-£8m squad players. But by the same token a team who fail to progress in a sub-standard European competition and are incapable of finishing in the top half of their own division do not need a £25m superstar. Players like these are what the European heavy-weights need in order to take them from third in their league to champions, from the Champions League quarter finals to the finals, they are the missing part of the jigsaw for a team that is nearly there. Spurs would be better off with 2 more signings in the vein of Luka Modric rather than one of the calibre of Eto'o.

Bearing in mind we have already done £17m on Modric and look to be about to shell £5m for that Eagles wonderkid, the mind can only boggle at what this summer's warchest must be. I can't help thinking it would be a mistake to hand it all to Barcelona for a player who will undoubtedly pine for better things, bitch if he isn't playing and lose a third of his value before the ink is even dry on the contract.

SPURS GET MUGGED

Have you noticed that watching Tottenham is getting more and more like watching England. Both are a group of highly rated internationals who are not quite as good as they look on paper, both raise their game when they are the underdog, both sets of fans are convinced that the object of their support is better than they actually are, both haven't really acheived anything truely impressive since the 1960's - and both are shit at penalties.

So inevitably it was left to an England international to end our season. Not that I blame Jenas, in all fairness it wasn't a terrible penalty, it was well placed but just at the wrong height. Chimbonda however is rapidly becoming something of an annoyance to me with his recent and not-so-recent antics. He's the kind of player that would fit in perfectly at Chelsea.

All in all, we was robbed. Tottenham did what they set out to do, win the game, and were by far the better team on the night. The only problem was that PSV refused to be broken. Our final ball was a let down time and time again, and whilst I can see the merits of the long ball game for the last 15 minutes of a match, I can't believe we adopted that tactic virtually from kick-off. Spurs are at their best when the ball is on the ground. Hoofing it up field and hoping for the second ball is NOT a tactic I want to see start creeping in on a regular basis.

Ramos has some difficult (and not so difficult) decisions to make this summer. For example - how many of you expected Robbo to save a single penalty? Compare that to the 'feeling' you must have had about Gomes and his ability to be the star of the show. The fact that he got a touch to three of our penalties suggests that we were perhaps lucky to even make it to Chimbonda's lame attempt. A big club needs a big character in goal, after wavering for quite a while I am now firmly in the "Robbo must go" camp - I suspect that Ramos is with me.

Next on my hit list: Lennon. I'm still at the wavering stage with him, but be honest, is he overrated? Bags of pace for sure; but no end product and extremely poor finishing let him down too often for my liking. Yes, yes I know what you are going to say "He's young, he must be allowed time to develop and progress", but I am not seeing any signs of progress - in fact, if anything I think he's actually getting worse. I don't think I'm ready to bring the hatchet down on him just yet, but in my opinion he's on borrowed time.

In other areas Hutton and Gunter means we can let Shimbomba (quote: David Pleat) go without worrying about back up, Daws, King, Woody and Kaboul are decent enough options and Gilberto and Bale are both good enough. So, goalkeeping aside, options in defence are not too shabby. Jenas and Huddlestone are coming on leaps and bounds under Ramos, Zokora must be kept is for not other reason that for his ability as a utility man, and Steed is solid without being spectacular.

We are blessed with strikers (yes, Bent IS good enough) so in my opinion Ramos and Comolli need to go out and buy 2 extremely expensive flair players for the wings and a world class keeper. (I'd be back dangling £12m in front of PSV for Gomes as he has ability AND entertainment value - not to mention the most incredible throwing ability I've ever seen!)

So there you have it. One trophy will have to do this year - and who amongst us would not have taken that back in October? Come On You Spurs, and bring on next season.

GLORY GLORY TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR!!!!!

Now I'm no Nostradamus, but I predict that you struggled through your hangover and have gone to work today grinning from ear to ear! What a brilliant day Sunday 24th of February turned out to be. My nerves have been shot to pieces, much like Zokora I couldn't bear to watch the penalty, and I never thought it possible to a "lucky piss" 4 times in 10 minutes - but lucky they were God damn it, lucky they were! Even the pub landlord got carried away and promptly dished up free sambuka to the entire pub!

Nobody expected Spurs to win but on the day they were magnificent. We dominated Chelsea's expensive collection of egos for much of the game and played some terrific football. You know that against Chelsea you are going to need your back line to be solid and the partnership of King and Woodgate delivered everything it promised to on paper. King proves time and time again that even if we only get one game a month out of him he'd be worth his salary. Was it me or did anyone else notice that he was limping slightly as he went to collect the trophy? Ah well, looks like he recovered in time for a tear up at infamous Essex nightspot Faces later that night! Get in there Ledders!

A winners medal meant more to Robbie Keane than most. His emotional outburst at the final whistle even brought a lump to my throat. That man is Tottenham through and through. He picked up what looked like a slight hamstring strain toward the end and had to come off, he looked disappointed but I'm sure the winners medal made up for it.

The only sore point in an otherwise perfect afternoon was the way Chimbonda managed to let himself down again. He clearly couldn't believe it when his number flashed up on the subs board and after staring at it in disbelief for a moment, proceeded to trudge off at a snails pace and head straight down the tunnel. I can understand the disappointment of being subbed in a cup final, but when you consider that we were still 1-0 down at the time then that kind of behaviour becomes more than just disrespectful. I hope he gets a bollocking and I suspect that he won't be wearing the shirt next season, which in my mind is no great loss.

In addition to bragging rights, silverware and a guaranteed European jaunt next year the Tottenham boys have also managed to relive themselves of a huge amount of pressure for the rest of the season. Our finishing league position is now largely irrelevant and we can go out and start to enjoy our football a bit more without worrying about the results of those above us.

So there we have it, Ramos is the messiah after all. Martin Who? Levy must be chuckling away to himself harder than most this morning! Ramos has installed a winning mentality in the team incredibly quickly and has proven himself yet again to be a cup specialist. Him and Tottenham look a match made in heaven. Hopefully the players can push on and shoot for a historic cup double this season, and on yesterday's performance I don't see why not. This winning feeling is long overdue, to go on and experience it twice in the same season would put us all firmly in a Wonderland that seemed beyond our wildest dreams only 6 months ago...

Robinson Affair Can Prove Ramos Genius

When Tottenham signed Paul Robinson in 2004 there cannot be a Spurs fan out there who was not chuckling into his beer. For a paltry £1.5m we had bagged a keeper who was already an England international, had Champions League experience and was in red hot form. In fact Robinson made an excellent impression at Spurs and performed well for... hmm I'll be generous and say 2 seasons.

Adored by the fans, the stopper built a splendid rapport with the Park Lane end in particular. Holding onto the England jersey was a foregone conclusion and even the emergence of young pretenders such as Kirkland, Green and Foster failed to dislodge him. But the cracks soon started to appear. Actually, I rather suspect that the cracks were there all along, but that infamous night against Croatia proved to be a catalyst for implosion. In all fairness, I don't even that mistake was Robbo's fault. Neville should have known better than to back-pass directly toward the goal, and you can clearly see that the ball bobbles up about six inches just as Robinson's boot swings through it - but the media went into frenzy.

Since then every fumbled cross, every deflected shot that squeezes in where perhaps it shouldn't and every 30 yard screamer that leaves the blundering oaf rooted to the spot is treated as further evidence that he is "having a crisis of confidence". Well, maybe he is - in fact maybe he has been for some time now, or maybe he just wasn't as good as we thought he was. Whichever way you look at it this situation is exactly why clubs like to have 2 decent keepers at their disposal.

Under Martin Jol, Robinson could be fairly safe in the knowledge that his would be amongst the first names on the teamsheet, regardless of his form. Perhaps this led to a little complacency, but Ramos proved to us seven weeks ago that he will not tolerate mediocre performances - whoever they are from. A string of poor performances finally saw the Spaniard hand Cerny the shirt full time, and who could disagree with that decision?

The Czech custodian has been an incredible servant to the club. He has quietly gone about his business without word of complaint, despite clearly being good enough for regular Premiership football elsewhere, and whenever he has been called upon to step up he has rarely let us down.

However, Mr. Robinson didn't quite see it that way. His toys came flying out of him pram so fast that some quarters could swear they saw a transfer request amongst them. He was still sulking by the time the rest of the team were warming up against Arsenal and refused to partisipate, much to the understandable annoyance of his boss. It is the opinion of this writer that this behaviour was nothing short of disgraceful. It shows unbelievable disrespect for his team-mates, the fans and the club. Perhaps Robbo himself didn't agree that his performances warranted his relegation to the bench, but ultimately it's not his opinion that counts. Ramos had quite reasonably decided to try Cerny and surely the right thing for Robbo to do was to buckle down and give a bit of extra effort in training, not have a hissy fit and engineer a transfer at the first sign of trouble.

The dust has now settled and it transpires that Cerny isn't really all that after all. An absolute howler against his home town team has left Ramos with a big decision to make: Is it time to reinstate Robinson? It is widely believed that he will, and that could be a masterstroke.

Juande Ramos is proving himself to be a man of his word. He clearly doesn't stick with favourites. Robbo makes mistakes and bang - he's out. Cerny makes mistakes and bang - Robbo is back in. What clearer a message can he possibly send to his squad: Nobody is safe, I will pick whoever is performing and drop whoever is not.

It's strange to think it, but maybe that blunder by Cerny has done more to enhance our chances of lifting some silverware on Sunday than people might realise. Hopefully Robinson will come out tonight with plenty to prove. If he has the right attitude he will want to show the fans, the boss and the media that he should never have been dropped in the first place. Ramos will publically show that he doesn't hold grudges and perhaps this could be the motivation for our new number one to put in a string of top class performances.

I'll tell you this, if we are to stand any chance on Sunday we need a keeper on top of his game. By dropping Robinson Ramos proved himself to be a great manager, by recalling him at such a crucial stage of the season he could prove himself to be a genius.

Welcome Woodgate - A Super Signing

So Tottenham have finally tied up the deal for Jon "Woody" Woodgate, in doing so dashing the hopes of Keegan and Wenger (who is still clearly in denial about anything to do with Spurs).

Now I'm sure there is going to be a whiff of negativity from some quarters about this transfer, but not from me fellow yids - I think this is a bloody fantastic signing. Woodgate is a huge talent and back in the day looked like one of the best centre halves in the world. Moneybags Newcastle certainly thought so as did European powerhouses Real Madrid, splashing out £9m and £13m respectively - if I remember rightly the latter even bought him while he was still injured!

But it is that injury record that is going to be the focus of the waste-of-money brigade. The fact is though that Woody has been a regular fixture in the 'Boro team all season and has made nearly 50 appearances for his home town club since returning from the continent - come now chaps, that's not a bad return is it?

It seems to me (and it looks like the medical team at the Lane agree) that the worst of his problems are behind him. At only 28 years of age he is hardly over the hill and should have at least 4 more good years left in him. Even more likely when you consider that he will probably be part of a rotation system that allows both he and Ledders to play and rest.

I think that Woodgate's history has actually worked in our favour as someone of his profile and undoubted quality would usually expect to come to a club like Tottenham and walk straight into the first team week in week out. Woody knows he is not going to play every game and he's obviously alright with that. That gives us the bonus of two experienced heads in him and King, both of whom have plenty of time to impart their knowledge and show their experience by stepping into the leadership role and mentoring the likes of Dawson and Kaboul.

That's right, I said Kaboul. Contrary to the popular press I don't expect him to be going anywhere. He has shown tremendous promise but perhaps lacks a bit of focus or direction. He's a good prospect who currently thinks he's better than he actually is. I would suggest that the most likely casualties of this signing are to be Rocha and/or Gardener. I don't think Gardener has ever been good enough; Rocha is a decent utility man who would benefit from a run of games - but ain't gonna get 'em. So no loss there really.

Sounds to me like we are going to get an announcement regarding Gilberto quite soon, which would be brilliant as well. With Chimbonda disgracing himself and the shirt it looks like the Alan Hutton deal became more urgent and is as good as done, but I have reservations. A good player perhaps, but if he doesn't want to come then let him stay in Scotland. I admire his commitment to his current club, but the cynic in me suspects he is more likely waiting for Fergie to wave his wad, something that doesn't bode well for his long term future at Spurs.

Just three more days remain before we can get back to the business of football. Until then all we have to look forward to is the potential partnership of Woodgate and King shoring up our leaky defence - hopefully as soon as tomorrow night against Everton. Hutton, Woodgate, King and Gilberto as a back 4 against Man U this weekend - now that WOULD be a turn up for the books!

So Jonathan, it's a big welcome from SpursClub, we appreciate you being a man of your word and blowing out Keegan and whoever that mystery third club was. Now if someone could only recommend a decent barber...

Spurs Fans: Accept NO Excuses from Arsenal!

What a glorious morning it it to be a Spurs fan - even more so if you were lucky enough to share an office with one or more Goons. Unfortunately for me I got made redundant last week and worked with 3 of them - still, what better reason to get on a train and pay them a visit this afternoon?

I, like you, have waited a very long time for this moment and it has finally arrived - with bells on! We didn't just beat the Arse, we battered them, we routed them, we opened a can of whoop-ass and tanned their tender hides with it! Five glorious goals to one, man that feels good. Better yet is that they were so pissed off that they even started fighting each other - how wonderful!!!

If the last 2 paragraphs ring true for you then you will no doubt have heard the following words this morning: "Yes, but you only beat our reserves". What a laughable sentiment! Now I am not a follower of Arsenal, so I don't know who plays every week, but I was quite sure that Hleb, Adebaeyor, Fabregas and Gallas were all senior players. Denilson and Diaby are big talents only a season or so away from the first team and Walcott is a £12m World Cup verteran (ok, maybe I'm pushing it with that one!).

You may also have heard that "It's only a tin-pot trophy, who cares?". Well believe me, they care. When you get to ANY semi-final you have to take it seriously, and their team selection should tell you they did. There is the possibility that Arsenal will finish the season with no silverware - do you think they'd have taken the League Cup if that turns out to be the case?

The last defence of the scoundrel may be "Well it took you 9 years" and yes, they may have a point here. But for much of that time Tottenham were fielding dross and Arsenal were in their pomp with Henry dazzling the world. The 2 games in the league this season were hardly one sided affairs and my response would be... 5 - 1, yes 5 - 1, suck on that!

So come on you Gooners, I deliberately put the word Arsenal in the title to reel you in, you must be smarting today!