Welcome Woodgate - A Super Signing

So Tottenham have finally tied up the deal for Jon "Woody" Woodgate, in doing so dashing the hopes of Keegan and Wenger (who is still clearly in denial about anything to do with Spurs).

Now I'm sure there is going to be a whiff of negativity from some quarters about this transfer, but not from me fellow yids - I think this is a bloody fantastic signing. Woodgate is a huge talent and back in the day looked like one of the best centre halves in the world. Moneybags Newcastle certainly thought so as did European powerhouses Real Madrid, splashing out £9m and £13m respectively - if I remember rightly the latter even bought him while he was still injured!

But it is that injury record that is going to be the focus of the waste-of-money brigade. The fact is though that Woody has been a regular fixture in the 'Boro team all season and has made nearly 50 appearances for his home town club since returning from the continent - come now chaps, that's not a bad return is it?

It seems to me (and it looks like the medical team at the Lane agree) that the worst of his problems are behind him. At only 28 years of age he is hardly over the hill and should have at least 4 more good years left in him. Even more likely when you consider that he will probably be part of a rotation system that allows both he and Ledders to play and rest.

I think that Woodgate's history has actually worked in our favour as someone of his profile and undoubted quality would usually expect to come to a club like Tottenham and walk straight into the first team week in week out. Woody knows he is not going to play every game and he's obviously alright with that. That gives us the bonus of two experienced heads in him and King, both of whom have plenty of time to impart their knowledge and show their experience by stepping into the leadership role and mentoring the likes of Dawson and Kaboul.

That's right, I said Kaboul. Contrary to the popular press I don't expect him to be going anywhere. He has shown tremendous promise but perhaps lacks a bit of focus or direction. He's a good prospect who currently thinks he's better than he actually is. I would suggest that the most likely casualties of this signing are to be Rocha and/or Gardener. I don't think Gardener has ever been good enough; Rocha is a decent utility man who would benefit from a run of games - but ain't gonna get 'em. So no loss there really.

Sounds to me like we are going to get an announcement regarding Gilberto quite soon, which would be brilliant as well. With Chimbonda disgracing himself and the shirt it looks like the Alan Hutton deal became more urgent and is as good as done, but I have reservations. A good player perhaps, but if he doesn't want to come then let him stay in Scotland. I admire his commitment to his current club, but the cynic in me suspects he is more likely waiting for Fergie to wave his wad, something that doesn't bode well for his long term future at Spurs.

Just three more days remain before we can get back to the business of football. Until then all we have to look forward to is the potential partnership of Woodgate and King shoring up our leaky defence - hopefully as soon as tomorrow night against Everton. Hutton, Woodgate, King and Gilberto as a back 4 against Man U this weekend - now that WOULD be a turn up for the books!

So Jonathan, it's a big welcome from SpursClub, we appreciate you being a man of your word and blowing out Keegan and whoever that mystery third club was. Now if someone could only recommend a decent barber...

Spurs Fans: Accept NO Excuses from Arsenal!

What a glorious morning it it to be a Spurs fan - even more so if you were lucky enough to share an office with one or more Goons. Unfortunately for me I got made redundant last week and worked with 3 of them - still, what better reason to get on a train and pay them a visit this afternoon?

I, like you, have waited a very long time for this moment and it has finally arrived - with bells on! We didn't just beat the Arse, we battered them, we routed them, we opened a can of whoop-ass and tanned their tender hides with it! Five glorious goals to one, man that feels good. Better yet is that they were so pissed off that they even started fighting each other - how wonderful!!!

If the last 2 paragraphs ring true for you then you will no doubt have heard the following words this morning: "Yes, but you only beat our reserves". What a laughable sentiment! Now I am not a follower of Arsenal, so I don't know who plays every week, but I was quite sure that Hleb, Adebaeyor, Fabregas and Gallas were all senior players. Denilson and Diaby are big talents only a season or so away from the first team and Walcott is a £12m World Cup verteran (ok, maybe I'm pushing it with that one!).

You may also have heard that "It's only a tin-pot trophy, who cares?". Well believe me, they care. When you get to ANY semi-final you have to take it seriously, and their team selection should tell you they did. There is the possibility that Arsenal will finish the season with no silverware - do you think they'd have taken the League Cup if that turns out to be the case?

The last defence of the scoundrel may be "Well it took you 9 years" and yes, they may have a point here. But for much of that time Tottenham were fielding dross and Arsenal were in their pomp with Henry dazzling the world. The 2 games in the league this season were hardly one sided affairs and my response would be... 5 - 1, yes 5 - 1, suck on that!

So come on you Gooners, I deliberately put the word Arsenal in the title to reel you in, you must be smarting today!

Spurs: Big Tom Shines

I'm not usually one to write a match report, but I must make a couple of comments about the Sunderland game for those of you that only saw it on MOTD. Firstly let me tell you that the first half was extremely entertaining. This may have been to do with the 4 pints of Stella I managed to consume before reaching the ground, but as a Spurs Club comrade dubbed it, Tottenham were playing "tissue football" (what can I tell you - he's in marketing). The passing, the flicks and tricks, the vision and the movement were all groin-achingly good. Spurs were on fire.

Jamie O'Hara had a cracking 45 minutes and to my mind looks to be getting better and better with every outing. The faithful love homegrown talent and if the boy continues like this he has the potential to be a fans favourite for years to come. More importantly, to my mind Tom Huddlestone was a revelation at centre half. Yes, I realise he played there for Derby occasionally, but with our well publicised defensive problems it is amazing to me that nobody thought to stick him there earlier.

His defending was more than adequate, but the effect of having someone back there that can consistently pick out 20-60 yard passes and have them hit their target was immense. Cerny had an outlet for the easy ball instead of the punt, and the time and space given to Huddlestone allowed him to really show what he does best. No longer were we treated to the lottery of Dawson's 50 yard diagonal balls, instead I lost count of the number of truly meaningful attacks that were started by having a defender with vision and accuracy in his passing.

Although he faded slightly in the second half as we came under more pressure, he was definitely my man of the match and if I was Ramos I'd think about moving the big guy back there permanently as we are hardly short on central midfielders - particularly if we move for Tiago, which is about the only deal being circulated that I give any credence to.

Lastly I want to say what a disgrace Chimbonda was. His performance reeked of someone who knows his time at the club is nearly over. He just could not be bothered, everything he touched turned to shit and he seemed completely unconcerned about losing possession or bad marking. Ramos made his second mistake in as many weeks when he decided to bring him on while we were defending a corner and Chimbonda promptly lost his man and allowed him a free header, which at only 1-0 up might have proved disaterous. In the dying minutes we came under lots of pressure and we may as well have been playing with 10 men. If he is still here in February then I will be amazed - and more than a little bit annoyed.

We lost our heads a little toward the end and Sunderland - a team known for their fight to the bitter end - were unlucky not to get back into it. We still have to learn how to hold possession when under the kosh, Lennon in particular should be looking to run into the corner rather than attempting silly through balls when there's only him and Berbatov in their half with a couple of minutes to go. However, in summary this had all the hallmarks of a game we would have lost 4 months ago so you can't argue with the improvement.

Lets just hope we show the same combination of silk and grit on Tuesday night, because we are going to need them both in equal measure if we are to stand a chance of turning over the Young Guns and making Spurs Club's February outing the most memorable in years.

Forget Defenders, What We Need Is More Strikers!

More strange goings on at the lane this week as all those "in the know" seem convinced that we are about to splash £9m of cash to secure the services of the amusingly named Brazilian, Fred. The player's agent suggests that he is on his way to hammer out terms with Comolli so even if we don't get him, it certainly looks like we are trying to.

Now, I have to confess that whenever I have seen him play for Lyon in the Champions League I have always felt as though he looked like a very decent player, so this news is not altogether unwelcome. However, why on God's green earth we are buying yet another striker is nothing short of mind boggling.

If I pop my Sherlock Holmes hat on for a moment, I can come to three conclusions:

1. We have slyly agreed to sell one of our strikers
2. Fred will play on the left
3. We are going to pioneer a 2-3-5 system

Option 2 would be my hope, but truth be told I can't quite remember if he is left-footed. My hazy memory of the last time I saw him tells me he is a player in the trickster mould rather than the "fox-in-the-box" variety, so maybe he could play slightly wide in a 4-3-3.

However, the odds on favourite is option 1 - but who will make way? Not Keane of course and Berbatov is surely going nowhere this month, so that only leaves Defoe or Bent. Defoe would seem like the logical choice, but he says he wants to stay - and I hope he does. Bent has found his opportunities few and far between, but having spent £16m on him less than a year ago surely it would be hugely embarrassing for the board if we sold him now at a knock down price. Comolli would have some very difficult questions to answer.

Nope, I just can't make this one add up. The only sensible conclusion I can come to is that we have agreed a deal for Defoe. I doubt the board would risk being stuck with 5 strikers so I reckon something must be afoot. My bet would be Portsmouth as I doubt Defoe has forgiven Erricsson for leaving him out of the World Cup and I can't see the WAG wanting to move to Birmingham.

That said, I just realised that I left out option 4 - that the whole thing is a crock of shit. My gut instinct though is that this one has legs. Is Fred even that much better than Defoe? We'll have to wait and see.

In other news our beloved Sporting Director has his head so far up his arse dealing with the lack of goalscorers at the club that there's still no sign of a proper left-back or a covering centre-half, but on a more encouraging note it does seem as though Ramos has stormed into Comolli's office ranting about how shit Downing is and how he'd best not throw £10m of his hard earned transfer ktty at 'Boro for "that Geordie twat"*.

At least someone down there can spot a lemon.

* May not be an exact quote

Transfer Tittle Tattle

Hoorah - the transfer window is in full swing and the race is on to be the first journalist to make up a story that actually comes true! Yes folks, you guessed it - Spurs are officially selling all their strikers except Keano and buying at least 8 defenders, and not a moment too soon!

Unfortunately, life outside of the Red Tops is a little more dull and so once again it my duty to bear the weight of the window on my Atlas like shoulders, set the record straight on a few things, and maybe even throw the odd poser out there for discussion...

First and foremost let's get the Berbatov Going Nowhere story done. Spurs have quite rightly slapped a £30-35m price tag on the fellas bonce - a move that will either delight or infuriate his agent depending on how he looks at it. Let's face it, the Bulgarian is worth every penny to a club chasing a Champions League medal and if someone comes up with the cash then that snake Emil Dantchev will never have to work again. For 10% even I'd be dragging him up the M6 kicking and screaming.

But recently I wrote a story predicting that Berba would still be a Spurs player in February and I stand by that. To sell our most potent weapon with a semi-final against the Goons and the latter stages of the very winnable UEFA Cup still on our plate would be a surrender like no other I've ever seen.

Many Spurs fans are starting to feel that maybe we should take the money - I'd like to remind them that if they are not shareholders they will not see a penny of it so what's the point? You don't think for one second that we'll see anywhere near that amount spent on a world class centre half shortly after do you? Most of that cash will be used to line certain pockets, and for me I'd rather keep watching The Great Man weave his magic every week. However, I am a realist and whilst I refuse to entertain thoughts that he will go inside the next few weeks, I can reluctantly envisage him departing this summer.

In other matters don't you find an £8.5m bid for Rangers Alan Hutton a strange one? Of course, judged by that old yard stick of other-clubs-he-is-linked-to then he is probably quite good, but I didn't think Chimbonda was that shit that we needed to splash that kind of cash to replace him/provide cover for him. Let's not forget that if we bought a proper left back then YP Lee would be an able deputy on his proper side (note to self: delete "able"). Maybe it's just a case of if quality is available then get it while you can.

Talking of left backs, I reckon a cheeky £3m bid for Portsmouth's Matt Taylor would be a stonking bit of business. A life long yid with a decent left foot, Premiership experience by the bucket load, bags of end product and an eye for goal he is a ready made solution to our Gareth Bale problems. 'Arry has already stated that he can go if someone comes in with the right bid, so come on Damien, pick up the phone.

I doubt it will happen, but I do expect some kind of activity in that position as YP is consistently the weakest link. If something happened to him then Lord only knows who'd play there. Seeing as Steed's continuing form puts the need for a left winger on the backburner we come nicely round the the numero uno problemo at Tottenham Hotspur - central defence.

Dawson and Kaboul appear to be developing an understanding that makes Keane and Defoe, or Lampard and Gerrard look good together, but in my opinion there seems little point of going out and picking someone up on the cheap just because they are available. They may be currently injured but in the long term we have an abundance of CB's that, to turn a wonderful phrase, can "do a job". No my friends, what we need is to break the bank for someone with experience, power, presence and consistency. We need to do business at upwards of £10m to get our man and that only leaves....

Well actually it doesn't really leave anyone that I can think of that is available right now so we are back to Plan B. Personally I think our best option for Plan B is Wes Brown for similar reasons to my Matt Taylor argument, but Fergie would rather cut off his big red konk before he sells a single of his own players to another Premiership team so don't hold your breath. No Spurs fans, my rather miserable prediction is that we will end up with nobody - or worse, a nobody - to shore up our leaky centre.

So there you have it. Sorry to piss on your parade but while the media love the transfer window for all it's paper-selling, hit-generating glory, history tells us that they are rather an anti-climax. As for Spurs, unless they have something extremely big up their sleeves for centre half then I suspect it will be very uneventful indeed and serve only to deliver us our usual fill of European gambles and lower league kids. Buying for the future has been good for the club, but dear Damien, there comes a time when rules must be broken...