SPURS: A Timetable for Success

Ahhh, the traditional early season doom and gloom is in full swing, you've got to love it haven't you? Us Spurs fans are nothing if not predictable. A few top class signings and a storming pre-season followed by zero points from 2 games and a nasty turn in the Berba-saga has sent some quarters into a mind-boggling frenzy of emotion. It appears as though following Spurs is the sporting equivalent of a desperate crack habit to some people.

Back in the real world we realize that losing the first 2 games of the season (even the first 3 should Chelsea twist the knife) does not wreck the season of a team whose target is top 4 flirtation and a couple of decent cup runs. To put it in perspective we are currently 3 points behind Arsenal and 4 points behind Man U - I doubt very much that we'll be crying into our eggnog if that's still the case come Christmas.

Anyone who actually saw the entire Sunderland game, and not just the highlights on MOTD, would have seen that Spurs dominated the second half but just failed to produce any clear cut chances. No, I'm not saying it was good enough, but there are encouraging signs and glimpses of a little of that pre-season magic. Ramos needs to find some balance - and fast, but I'm sure he will, he just needs time (not too much mind you). You don't go from Europe's most sought after coach to class dunce in 6 months. Chelsea will be a tough ask, but then after their opening day shenanigans they were hardly convincing against Wigan were they?

The Berbatov saga is getting on everyone's tits, but on the bright side will be resolved one way or the other within the next 5 days. This site is a firm supporter of the player, but even I'm of the belief he should now go. Say we keep him - what then? He's got a mountain to climb to win over the fans and we'd only have to go through all this shite again come January. The money monkeys have handled this with as much aplomb as they showed during Jolgate - but who are we kidding, Berba was always for sale. Otherwise the whole thing could have been nipped in the bud a year ago when Mr. Unpopular signed his new contract.

However, and this is where it turns, Pavlyuchenko is coming and this one isn't just internet chit-chat, the player himself says he's just waiting on his visa. The oracle known as the Daily Mail insist Spurs are also "working very hard" to bring Huntelaar to the party before Monday. Surely not - never in a million years says you - but then I'd have said the same about Pav this time 2 days ago. The Corluka deal is not dead and Russian superstar Arshavin still pines for North London with his own manager at one point "certain" the hairless one will be a Spurs player before much longer - speculation that will no doubt intensify now his compatriot is semi-confirmed and Zenit have signed Danny.

Let me remind you friends that, unlike tales of Heskey, Borriello and various South Americans. none of these deals are the usual harebrained stories invented by unscrupulous hacks during a boozy lunch. These are solid stories, backed by quotes from players and clubs alike (OK, the Huntelaar story reeks of Heineken, but the others are good). So let me paint you a rosier picture with this timeline for the next few days:

1. Pavlyuchenko announced Thursday
2. Corluka announced Friday
3. Berbatov sold to Man U Saturday
4. A performance of grit and determination sees us run out 2-1 victors against Chelsea on Sunday
5. Huntelaar and Arshavin announced on Monday

If the next 5 days pan out like this I rather suspect that even the most pessimistic Spurs fan may crack a little smile (once they've stopped moaning about the lack of a defensive midfielder that is).

Whether you agree with the details or not is irrelevant, if Pav and/or A.N. Others of suitable quality arrive, Berba goes and we get 3 points this weekend, next week is going to feel like the start of our season proper and maybe, just maybe, the doom and gloom can be put back in it's box - for a while at least.

ENGLAND: A Spurs Fan's View

I realise it's outside of my usual remit, but as I dragged my sorry arse all the way to Wembley for the England game last night I thought I'd give you something to read that doesn't involve Bulgarians or Russians.

Firstly let me say what a brilliant stadium it is; superb views all round, spacious seating and even escalators - yes escalators - that deliver you to the upper echelons. Those of you lucky enough to be there for the Carling Cup final must have been in dream land. A great game and an electric atmosphere in a stadium like this must have been incredible.

Last night however, I was treated to neither.

OK, I wasn't expecting England vs Germany like excitement from the crowd, but the thing that surprised me the most was the amount of booing that goes on. Boos for the Czechs, boos for Lampard, boos for Ashely Cole, boos for Spurs players, boos for slow play, boos for wasteful play, boos for passing to keepers, boos at half time, boos at full time - even boos for the section of the crowd that didn't want to carry on the Mexican wave that was arguably more entertaining than the second half. In fact, the one person who consistently managed to escape the boo-boys was David Beckham - my word how the England crowd love Becks - and rightly so I suppose, he has been a Lion over the years.

Anyway, on to the game and it all looks very much like the motto is Same Old England. Gerrard, Beckham, Lampard and Barry in midfield? I thought we were supposed to be making progress under Capello! Someone needs to sit him down and make him watch every single video of games where Lampard and Gerrard have been on the pitch at the same time.

Is it me or do we have 4 players here who are almost identical in their desire to play it sideways and backwards? None of them can beat a man, none of them have pace to burn, all of them want to play a central role. It's not that I bear any grudges against these players, just that everybody except the man who matters knows they can't all play at once.

No matter what people say, Becks is still dangerous, but I'm sorry to say that his days as a starter should be ended. Barry is capable of being a classy DM but with Gerrard, Lampard and at times even Rooney getting in his way his job was made that much more difficult.

Gerrard on the left - I don't even need to bitch about this one. Capello reckons Gerrard wasn't on the left, was he watching the same game? England were not playing a 4-3-2-1, they may have been told to but it somehow got lost in translation and the players opted for 4-5-1. Lampard...? Well Lampard was Lampard.

Why is it the experts believe that to be successful at international level you need to slow everything down and keep possession for as long as possible. For England this always results in 25 pointless passes around the centre circle and an over ambitious through ball or a long punt to nobody. England need to play with pace. We need trickery, quick ball and a direct style as seen weekly in our glorious league - or shown recently by exciting sides such as the Dutch or the Spanish. We have the players, we just need to get out of the big name mentality.

Last night was another example of an England game crying out for the introduction of a Wright-Phillips, an Ashley Young, or dare I say it - even a Theo Walcott. What we got was Downing for Rooney and another aging relic in Emile Heskey. Heskey is not international class, never was, never will be. Why pick him when our very own Darren Bent is in such blistering form (Saturday's blip aside)?

Finally however, Capello came to his senses and brought on some Spurs players! Woody looked every bit as good as Terry and a hell of a lot better that Rio. How we got this bloke for £7m never ceases to amaze. Jenas, and in particular Bentley tried to inject the kind of urgency we had been waiting for with at least a modicum success.

So all in all it was same same but different:

• The "old guard" couldn't be bothered and nor could the crowd.
• The Spurs contingent did them and their club proud - both by performance and enthusiasm.
• "Possession football" is draining the life out of the international game (for us at least).

England will doubtless lumber their way past the might of Andorra, Khazikstan and Belarus and crow about how they are back on track, it's results that matter, it's all about qualifying, blah, blah, blah. They might even consider a draw in Zagreb a "success", but last night taught me 2 valuable lessons: 1. We aren't going to win anything any time soon as those in charge remain clueless about how to organise the best England team and 2. Never, ever go to an England friendly unless it's to have a day out with the kids.

SPURS: Hope Springs Eternal

Tottenham are off to a rocky start in the Premiership after crashing to a disappointing 2-1 defeat at the Riverside this weekend, instantly realigning the inflated expectations of a large contingent of our support. What short memories us Spurs fans have! After a glorious pre-season that included a 5-0 demolition of one of Italy's finest, many fans were expecting us to get off to a flyer. Even I was a believer of the hype - I should have known better, I've been a Spurs man for 30 years and every August feels the same! A few exciting signings and about £50m later it's Bob's your uncle, Big Four here we come. The reality however, is a different kettle of fish.

In all the hullabaloo of signing some of the finest attacking midfielders around, Ramos et al have now seemingly decided that playing them all at the same time is the Spurs Way, in the process brushing the need for tough tackling in and around the centre circle conveniently under the carpet. Having 6 attacking players on the pitch might be a good idea when you're 3 goals down at home, but on the opening day of the season on a grim day up north it doesn't seem so smart - but then hindsight always was a wonderful thing.

When I saw that starting line up one of my eyebrows was raised so far it came clean off my face. JJ has never, will never be a DM. Modric certainly snaps at the heels, but I'm yet to be convinced that asking him to cover back when we attack is anything other than a waste of his talents. So who did that leave to break down the inevitable counter attacks? Well, as the septics say "You do the math".

For me Lennon would have been the casualty with Modric stepping forward and then either the Hudd or O'Hara being asked to hold (I really, really hope we are grooming O'Hara for a DM role as I think he'd a legend there one day). Failing that reinstate Zokora and play Gunter at RB, he looks a decent player by all accounts. What I sincerely hope is that Ramos stops trying to pioneer the radical 4-0-5-1 formation, as it's only going to end in tears.

Defensively Dawson is a capable squad player (although you'd be well within your rights to disagree with that based on this weekend), Zokora is not really a right back (although every team needs a utility man) and BAE is still a kid with only a handful of games to his name (where was the more experienced Gilberto?). Even with Mr. Dependable and The Octopus that my friends is a back line that smacks of mid-table mediocrity.

And what of all this "I can play every game this season" talk from Captain King? I have yet to see an explanation as to why he started on the bench; or Bale; or Berba? At least with the latter we can draw our own conclusions. Regular readers will know that I am the most optimistic of Berbatov fans, but even I can now see that we have passed the point of no return.

When (rather than if) Berbatov goes, Tottenham will have 2 weeks to buy one quality "fox in the box", a world class defensive midfielder and a central defender of recognised ability to partner Woody (hopefully Corluka but I see that slipping away). I don't hold out much hope of a hatrick on this front, but without them we are praying that King really is fixed, O'Hara/Thudd/Zokora have the season of their lives and that Darren Bent stays injury free for the next 9 months!

Well, I suppose those things could happen, so maybe it's top four after all...

Up The Spurs!

Berbatov: THE FACTS

Surfing the internet at work all day has it's ups and downs when it comes to Spurs news. On the one hand you get to hear about signings almost immediately after they happen, on the downside you have to endure the utter bollocks such as that served up by abominations like 'CaughtOffside'. But if there's one thing that is starting to really get my goat it's all the Berba-Bashing that seems to be coming from some quarters. If that sounds like you then hang your head in shame and open your mind to the possibility that you are being strung a merry dance by the popular press.

The problem is that if something is repeated enough times then people start to take it for fact, rather than stepping back and thinking about it for themselves. These "facts" then get repeated by the sheep who have nothing positive to say and before you know it, BOOM, a man's character, commitment, ability and achievements have gone up in smoke. It is bloody disgraceful, and unfortunately for Dimitar Berbatov the snowball effect has now become unstoppable.

Here are the charges:

Berbatov is a Moody, Sulking Git

The Prosecution:

The evidence to substantiate this charge are claims that he has been seen waving his arms around and looking a bit stroppy when someone plays a bad pass to him. This is backed up by reports of him looking "disinterested" while both on the field and on the bench.

The Defence:

It appears to the defence that some Spurs fans have selectively short memories. The defendant has been doing this for about 2 years, yet before all this Berba-to-Man-U nonsense started, back in the not-so-distant past when he was a hero to the fans, nobody seemed to mind about that. It must also be considered that the player is also prone to the same reaction when he himself plays a bad pass or misses a great opportunity. Surely he's just showing frustration.

Berbatov himself does not have the happy-go-lucky demeanour of Dos Santos, but why the fuck do people suddenly find that offensive? Some say it would be nice for him to look like he was enjoying it, but why should he? Maybe he's just the type to take his game very, very seriously - and what's wrong with that?

The claims that he looks moody on the bench are laughable. Firstly I bet if there was a camera on you for the entire length of a football game they could catch plenty of shots of you looking a bit bored and distant. Secondly I would like to present Exhibit A - recent footage from the last few friendlies of Berbatov looking relaxed and shown to be signing autographs and joking around with others on the bench. I just don't see ANY evidence of this moodiness.

Berbatov is a Negative Influence in the Dressing Room

The Prosecution:

Due to his desperation to play for one of Europe's elite, and the subsequent failure of those dreams to become reality, Mr. Berbatov is proving to be a right miserable bastard and a "bad apple". This in turn is dragging the morale of the rest of the squad to new depths and setting an extremely bad example for the younger players.

The Defence:

Am I the only person to find the concept of this a complete joke? Firstly, as Exhibit A has already shown, the demeanour of the defendant in his relations with his teammates looks anything but negative. Secondly, does anyone have any evidence that the Spurs squad are suffering poor morale problems at the moment? Quite the contrary in fact, they all look about as excited as the rest of us about being a part of New Look Spurs. Lastly, would someone mind pointing out to me how anyone other than about 30 people who have direct daily interaction with him have the first fucking idea about what his influence in the dressing room is? No, I didn't think so.

Berbatov Want's to Leave Spurs

The Prosecution:

Mr. Berbatov has his heart set on a move away from Tottenham. This is in order to further his career, increase his wage and to allow him to compete at the highest level. The prosecution cites Chairman Levy as having publicly stated that the player has "had his head turned" and comments from the players agent have suggested that he is extremely keen to leave.

The Defence:

Well, it's a fair cop on this one. Yes Berbs may well want a move to Man U or Barca or any of the other super-clubs, but can you really blame him? The defence takes umbrage at the suggestion that Mr. Berbatov is desperate to leave and would prefer the wording of such claims to be more along the lines of "quite fancies a move to" or "would relish the chance at" or "is flattered by". May we remind you that the defendant has not handed in an official transfer request as far as we know, has never publicly stated his desire to leave the club and, apart from some snide and unwise remarks from his agent (in which he may or may not have been complicit), has behaved in an exemplary manner whist under the extreme and unwanted glare of the British media - a glare under which many a lesser man may have cracked (think Barry, Ronaldo et al). Therefore, is it not beyond the realms of possibility that should he still be a Tottenham player at the end of August, that this is hardly going to be the end of the world for him and that he will continue to honour his contract to the best of his ability like a professional?

In summary, Dimitar Berbatov is still the footballing genius he was 9 months ago when he was the darling of White Hart Lane. His performance may not have been 100% in the last 5 months but seeing as our season was effectively over in March it seems unfair to hang him for that - could it also be that all the speculation has had an unsettling effect?

Anyone who actively wants this man to leave the club is insane. He is one of only a handful of players in the world who has the ability to single-handedly snatch victory from the jaws of defeat and that is why he's worth £30m. Wouldn't you rather have that talent available to Juande Ramos than Alex Ferguson?

None of us is qualified to say that he is wrecking team spirit, none of us has a right to accuse this man of lacking the integrity to honour his contract should he have to, and only an idiot would fail to recognise the contribution he has made to the team in the last 2 years. So before all you detractors jump in and start slagging him (and possibly me!) off, perhaps you should consider the evidence first and stop allowing yourself to be manipulated by common misconception, the gutter press, and ultimately Old Red Nose himself.