TOPSEY TURVEY TOTTENHAM

I don't want to talk about it, but seeing as all my frigging work mates do then we might as well get it out of the way.

Look, before we all go throw ourselves under the Victoria Line let's get one thing straight. If Pompey had played like that all season they would not be going down. They closed down quickly, hassled and harried our midfield and defended like their lives depended on it.

Also, if Peter Crouch played like that all season... oh, hang on, he HAS played like that all season! Crouchie laying on the floor with his head in his hands is becoming a familiar sight - and one we'd better get used to as we'll probably be seeing it throughout the summer too. Don't get me wrong, I like him (well, he's likable isn't he?) but I'd prefer not to see him on a football pitch until at least 65 minutes of the game have elapsed.

Lovable as the lanky rogue is, Pav and Gudjonssen are both better footballers. The key to unlocking Pompey was class and creativity, not the ol' "lump it to the big man" tactic. We shouldn't have been drawn into the fight, we should have moved the ball quicker instead. A prolonged period of one-touch passing to people in space was sorely missed in the second half. Knock it around, tire them out, be patient... that would have been my half time talk. We were too direct.

Other than that I can't really grumble about the team selection, so there'll be no 'Harry Out' chat here please. The "outstanding" pitch (to quote Ray Wilkins) played a part in their 1st goal, nothing wrong with our goal or Wilson's tackle either, so the footballing Gods were obviously not in a smily mood. Truth be told I had a feeling it wasn't going to be our day after an opening half an hour of total dominance that inexplicably remained unproductive. Got to stick it away while you're on top and all that, haven't you?

Our heroes had better buck their ideas up come Wednesday - they owe us big time. Will all be forgiven if we stuff the Wanderers? Not quite, but it will go a long, long way towards helping me forget. Follow that by beating Chelsea at home and avoiding defeat at Old Trafford and maybe we'll have something to get excited about again.

However unlikely that run sounds, the weekend has proved that when it comes to Tottenham Hotspur, anything is possible. Maybe the race for 4th will go to the last day. We'd be in the driving seat then for sure. After all, we're bound to beat Burnley aren't we...